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Archive for the ‘IVF#2 (Take 3)’ Category

CD1… um, maybe?

This morning I was fairly certain today was CD1, so I made an appointment for my Lupron Evaluation to be Thursday (it can be either CD2 or CD3 and tomorrow is simply impossible for me).

But… now I’m not so sure. Not to be too graphic or anything, but hello? What the heck did you expect? You’re reading a frickin’ infertility blog for crying out loud! Anyway, right. Disclaimer made, so… this morning I felt certain it was CD1 and all signs pointed that way. But no sooner had I seen those signs did they all disappear.

Except, you know, the mind-numbing, debilitating cramping. I’m actually starting to wonder if that’s normal. Really. Is it? Do you all get positively debilitating cramps with your cycles? Because mine are so bad I literally almost throw up from the pain. I almost can’t stand up. The pain is so intense I see spots. It’s unbelievable. I just find it hard to believe that this is normal.

Anyway. Aside from the cramping – everything else pretty much went away. So now I don’t think today really was CD1, so I’ve got to count on tomorrow being CD1, or I’ll have to cancel Thursday’s LE. This is all very aggravating.

Today my headache was so bad and I really wanted a Coke – I knew it would taste brilliant and I also knew that little bit of caffeine would take the edge off the Lupron headache. But… I also know that the last two cycles got canceled, in part because of elevated estrogen levels, and my first cycle did not. My first cycle I didn’t have a drop of Coke (not intentionally – I just didn’t happen to have any). I’m certain that one Coke isn’t going to make a difference, but it’s a slippery slope, you know? I even called my friend, M, knower-of-all-things and asked her to talk me off the Coke Ledge. “Seriously? I wouldn’t be able to resist the siren-call of the Coke,” she said. “It’s not going to hurt you.”

“Okay,” I said, “but if I get canceled because of high estrogen levels, I’m blaming you and writing an entire blog post about how it was all your fault.”

But… I couldn’t take the guilt of the possibility that I’d make someone feel bad by doing that… so I didn’t succumb to the siren-call of the nectar of the gods. You owe me one, M. 😉

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Day 10 of BCPs. Nine more days until Lupron. Gawd. Stupid Lupron. My head is hurting just *thinking* of the Lupron. Except, the last two times I took the Lupron my head didn’t hurt that much, so I should have known that something was wrong, right? Yeah. So I’m torn. Maybe I should wish for the earth-shattering headaches. Um. Yeah.

Anyway, there’s seriously nothing going on here, except that I frickin’ hate BCPs. I get all stupid and cranky on them (why should today be any different than any other day?) and I feel sick and, yes, my head hurts (different than the Lupron headaches – just an exacerbation of my normal migraines).

But it’s SO BORING.

Seriously. Is this what I’ve come to? I’ve come to a life in which stabbing myself with a sharp stick is actually more interesting than the life I’m currently leading? Seriously? Taking a little blue pill isn’t worth writing about? Heck 10 years ago, little blue pills were worth writing about. Today? You hardly ever even hear about little blue pills anymore!

Gah. It’s not helping that I have pretty horrific cramps right now, and, um, HELLO? I’m on Day 10 of the pill! There is no good reason why I should be having cramps of all the damn things!

Ahem.

I told you there was nothing to see here.

Move along.

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Starting Over

CD1
BCPs start Tomorrow
Lupron starts on Day 19
Let the Games begin!

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