Archive for May, 2009

Crisis averted

I had resigned myself to cancelling this cycle, with the smallest glimmer of hope that maybe tomorrow wouldn’t be too late to trigger for a Tuesday retrieval to at least get the smallest of my growing eggs. In tears, I sat in my husband’s arms and said over and over again, “I’m so sorry.”

A whole cycle wasted.

Worse: I would have to call Ye Olde Fertility Clinic tomorrow and admit to my stupidity. They have signs EVERYWHERE asking if you have your trigger shot. Are you SURE you have your trigger shot? ABSOLUTELY sure? Check with your nurse if you need it, they admonish. Their paperwork reminds you constantly to ensure ahead of time that you HAVE YOUR TRIGGER SHOT because the doctor on call can’t guarantee that you’ll be able to find a pharmacy that has it in stock if you call them in a panic in the middle of the night. On Thursday the nurse who went over my trigger instructions asked if I had the trigger shot. “Oh yes,” I said. “I’m sure I do.”

“You might want to check,” she said.
“Oh, I’ll definitely check. I wouldn’t want to be THAT patient,” I said. “You know, the one who calls in the middle of the night in a panic because she doesn’t have it?”

Right. And I did have every intention of checking to see if I had it. Really. But, well, life got away from me.

We called all the 24 hour pharmacies around and, sure enough, no one had it in stock, so calling the doctor on call wasn’t going to help me anyway. So, as I said, I had resigned myself to having completely wasted an entire cycle.

But then – my brilliant, handsome, perfect, amazing, wondermous husband came downstairs and said to me as I wallowed in my misery: “Hey, dumb question… does M have hCG?”

“M’s out of town.”
“Right. So does M have any?”
“Probably, but she’s out of town and I don’t have a key to her house.”
“So… does anyone locally HAVE a key to her house?”


Well, it was worth a shot, despite the late hour. The clock was ticking on how long I could push my luck anyway. Last time I got this far, I took my trigger shot half an hour late and my nurse said that was no problem at all. She even said an hour late was no problem at all. Any more than that and it starts to become a problem.

So at 11:38, I called M on her cell phone. She didn’t answer, but I left a message asking her to please call me if she got the message. And then, just for good measure, I tried calling her one more time, just in case she hadn’t heard it the first time. It still went to voice mail, but it turned out that calling her the second time was the thing that clued her in to the fact that the phone ringing was actually something she needed to check.

She called me back moments later.

She did, indeed, have hCG at her house. Her neighbor across the street has a key. She was willing to call her neighbor to see if she wouldn’t mind meeting me with the key. Miraculously, her neighbor was still awake and didn’t mind meeting me with the key.

M gave me instructions for how to deal with the alarm and how to find the medication, and I dashed off to her house (she’s only a couple blocks from me).

hCG in hand, I dashed home to take the trigger shot.

Tomorrow I will pick up MY hCG and return it to M. Along with some kind of super special treat. Because although there is really no repaying this kindness, I really must find a way. She said she was so glad that my husband thought to call her.

“I’m so glad we’re in this together,” she said.

Me too, M, me too.

I’m not sure she’ll ever know how much this kindness means to me. I’m not sure I can ever articulate how huge her tiny sacrifice (of an hour’s sleep to talk me through getting into her house) was for me. I don’t know how things will work out this cycle, but I do know that without her help, I wouldn’t have had an opportunity to find out. I also know that without my husband’s quick thinking (WHY DIDN’T YOU THINK OF IT HALF AN HOUR EARLIER???), I wouldn’t have had a chance to find out how this cycle will work out. I love you, sweetie. I’m so glad we’re in this together.


P.S. At monitoring today, they thought I’m probably looking at getting 10 eggs at retrieval. Just so we’re clear, the doctor more than doubled my medications this time around in hopes of getting at least a 50% increase in response this time. I got 10 eggs at retrieval last time. I know that it only takes one, but I’m not in the least bit amused that more than doubling my medications didn’t really change the overall outcome. I *did* ask the sonographer how big my ovaries are and she measured them: they are over twice the size of an average, non-stimulated, ovary. I asked if I was exaggerating to call them baseballs and she said definitely not. My left side, she said, might be closer to the size of a softball.


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There’s always a but, right?

My nanny’s father died suddenly on Thursday, so she is out of the country. I don’t know for how long. I am assuming at least a week.

My retrieval which we THOUGHT was going to be either Saturday or Sunday is now… Monday. At almost exactly the time that I’m supposed to be at a school conference for my foster son. A school conference at which I’m paying for the pleasure of the company of the developmental pediatrician and the speech therapist.

And I thought I’d be missing that school conference, because of the retrieval… but it looks like… maybe not so much.

I thought the problem with Monday’s retrieval revolved around childcare for the wee ones. For if I had no care for them, I was going to have to call the whole thing off. Which seemed like an incredible waste, no?


Actually, just before 11pm tonight, I pulled out my bag o’ medication and…

No trigger shot.

I forgot I used it when my last cycle was cancelled and it was the one thing I didn’t refill this time around, assuming I already had it. My husband called around to all the local 24 hour pharmacies in the area and none of them have it in stock. So… I’m out of luck and I likely blew an entire cycle for nothing.

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The doc at monitoring today thought I *might* trigger today, but I was skeptical. Turned out, I was right to be skeptical – “same and back tomorrow…” which is the same instruction I get every day. I have three or four mature folllicles, some of which I’m probably going to lose and a whole lot of smaller follicles that they want to give time to catch up. So there you go. My right ovary is still (as usual) subpar, but what are you going to do?

So I have to go back to the clinic tomorrow, which is a logistical nightmare because it’s a Jewish Holiday (Shavuos), but I have a friend who agreed to take me, and all the important details are taken care of, so that’s all that matters.

I’m extraordinarily uncomfortable – it feels like I have canteloupes for ovaries right now, and I assure you, I don’t have room in there for two canteloupes. I will simply take this as a good sign of lots of growth even if we’re not seeing it all on the ultrasound. Yeah, that’s it.

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More Monitoring

I didn’t update you on yesterday’s monitoring because I was swamped. Anyway, yesterday’s monitoring showed 1 follicle over 10mm on the right (aka: the useless ovary) and 4-5 on the right. They ranged from 16mm to 11mm. Everything else was smaller. My estrogen had jumped from 181 to 532 and my instructions were to stay on the same doses and return to the clinic today. My nurse sounded really perky about the whole thing, and honestly I was a little surprised by that. I’d been a bit down about the follicles – I had about 12 total, but half of them weren’t over 10 yet and aren’t showing a lot of promise, and with more than double the dose of Follistim from my first cycle (and a quarter of the Lupron), I’m not showing a much better response. I was discouraged. But she sounded so perky – and so I thought that estrogen must have been a really good sign, but who knows. I can’t even tell anymore.

So I went in today and the doctor covering monitoring said right away, before the sonographer was even done with the ultrasound, “Well, we’re going to need to have you back tomorrow; we’ve got to get your estrogen under control, and we’ve got to get some of those other follicles growing.” He didn’t sound encouraged, that’s for sure. That being said, I do have 13 follicles today – but I have some clear leaders: a 21.3 and an 18.8. Everything else is much smaller. I suspect we may just lose those to let the others grow enough. We’ll see. I don’t know who’s covering monitoring tomorrow, but I’m sure it’ll be fun times, regardless.

I think I’ve decided to be optimistic at this point, despite the way the doctor today sounded. I know this is completely uncharacteristic for me, but hey, I like being unpredictable.

I have a couple posts floating around in my head, but I have so much going on I just can’t get there. Bear with me, because they’re coming. Eventually.

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Here’s the update from this morning’s monitoring…

E2 was 181, so nice rise there. Good sign. Keep same doses and return to office on Tuesday morning.

I’m not sure what to think, to be honest. My doctor was there today, but wasn’t in the monitoring room when I had my U/S (he was doing a procedure, I’m told), so I didn’t get his direct take. He’s usually pretty straight with me when I talk to him directly. But I talked with a nurse I don’t know and I didn’t bother to ask her anything other than for the directions written in my file, which were pretty straightforward since there were no changes so far.

Well, you know? My two crappiest IUI cycles resulted in pregnancies. So who’s to say that my dreadful opinion of how this is starting has any bearing whatsoever on how this will turn out?

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All that Follistim, and you’d think I’d have some mighty perky ovaries today, wouldn’t you. Try to at least consider living up to my original blog title, maybe? After all, my ovaries used to be perky all on their own without any help from Follistim/Luveris, etc.

But … not so much.

My right ovary had only one measurable follicle – 14mm. 3, maybe 4 smaller follicles that weren’t worth measuring yet.

My left ovary was a little better, but not much, with a 16, 14, and 11, and again 3-4 smaller follicles that weren’t worth measuring yet.

So with 900 IUs of Follistim and 225 units of Luveris in me (total over three nights), I’m not feeling like this is getting the brilliant response originally predicited. This was supposed to be easy, remember? Or, as easy as IVF ever is (I get that it’s never “easy” but I think you know what I mean). SuperDoc’s predictions in January were that this would be a snap. But… so far, this has been nothing but unpredictable.

I’m … tired.

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Yep.  I’m being treated as a non-PCO patient now.  Go figure.  Turns out my e2 level wasn’t 439, but it was high.  They like to see it under 50 at the Lupron Evaluation and mine was 93.  That’s three cycles in a row of elevated e2 at the LE.  Sigh.  So much for my Coke theory – I haven’t had a drop this cycle.  Now I’m going to drink one with wild abandon, darnit.  Starting now (or as soon as I finish this post).




Anyway, SuperDoc also noted that since I’m not acting all PCO and my reaction to the stims so far has been lackluster, we’re going to treat me as a non-PCO patient and see where that gets me.  SO, tonight I take 300 units Follistim & 75 of Luveris.  Tomorrow morning I drop my Lupron down to FIVE measely units (rock ON!). 

Return to the office for monitoring on Sunday as planned.


Game on!

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