When we were first given the ADHD diagnosis for the J-man, Dr. S. told us "A child with J’s profile will make even the best parents in the universe feel completely incompetent."
Yep.
We’re into week two of our medication trial and on our second medication. The first medication MIGHT have been having some side effects. We THINK. But we’re not really sure. I would have liked to have seen a few more days of the medication to be sure that it wasn’t just all a big coincidence. But J refused to take it 3 days out of 6. So no dice. To get him to take it, we bribed him heavily, and on the days he didn’t take it… Oh the fits that ensued when the bribe was not forthcoming! Absolutely indescribable!
And so… we moved to a patch. And he’s VERY proud of his "sticker" which he knows he’s not allowed to take off and he knows he’s not allowed to show to anyone (it’s on his posterior, so showing it off would be quite rude).
Day one of the patch we used 1/2 a patch and got limited feedback from school, so Saturday we moved to a full patch. Well, we did NOT see our son that day at ALL. We saw a withdrawn little boy who was listless and sad, tired and lonely. Not at all our happy, bouncy little monster. I did not like this little boy much at all. I mean, I loved him, of course, but I missed my J-man. Where had he gone? Is this what I was doing to him? I saw little glimmers of my beautiful boy whenever he got to do something physically active, but so long as he was sedentary, he was listless, withdrawn, quiet, introspective, sniffly, and sad.
Sunday we tried again with a whole patch, knowing he would have a very active day as we went out to visit Jess and her five little monkeys. And he was totally fine. He was calm, but happy. He was a good listener. He was active at appropriate times, but not out of control. He played nicely. He was animated. He was a little bored when the other kids were asleep, but he generally had a GOOD time and was my J-man again. It was awesome.
Today? We gave him a full patch again. I called the school just now to see how he’s doing and he’s BOUNCING OFF WALLS. Can’t sit still, can’t listen, can’t behave himself, can’t control his behavior, totally impulsive.
I just. don’t. know. what. to. think.
His fits before and after the medicine take effect and wear off are completely out of control, but we’ll approach this with behavior management therapy. This will take time. But the medication? I’m just… I’m at a total loss. TOTAL LOSS. I feel unbelievably incompetent.
UNBELIEVABLY INCOMPETENT.
Meanwhile, we’ve joined CHADD. I’ve got to-do lists. I’ve got a notebook started. We’ve got reading lists. What more can we do?
ChezPerky 
i can only imagine how frustrating all this is 😦 hang in there and just keep doing the best you can. {{hugs}}
Keep on keepin’ on. You’re doing what you can, when you can.
Little assvice here…feel free to ignore me. These meds can take a little while to regulate everything. I think the fact that when he was home with you doing things more structured and was well behaved speaks volumes. Is the school working with you in terms of the behavior management, collecting any data on anything? I’ve found that when kids are night and day between home and school, it’s not usually the meds at work.
Just my measly little two cents, might not even be worth that. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job with him!
This is such a difficult diagnosis and treatment protocol for a child. Meghan’s right that it can take a while to regulate the levels in a child’s body. Give it time, and I hope that the little boy that you saw this weekend is the one who emerges once the medication levels are where they’re supposed to be.
I know this is hard on all of you.
Just a big hug for you today. I wish there was something that I could say or do…
Please take a moment (like right now!( to stop and think about how you really are a competent parent.
you are doing GREAT!!!!! The other two girls are right it can take up to a month for things to settle and come into balance (sorry no quick fixes) hang in there and yes i do hope that the school is providing you with some behaviour management support, if not seek out that great OT and your pead. they should be able to help you. You are not incompetent just in new rocky waters, this is unfamiliar territory for you and its hard, not to mention the other 3 little munchkins too… take care
Leonie
oh I was going to commment the other day in regards to the ovulation stuff and now i wont because you answered my questions!!
Must be tough to deal with this. Big hug and thinking of you.
Big hugs! And yeah – saying “ME TOO.”
I know with anti-depressants, they take a while to work properly in a person’s system. Unless your doctor disagrees, I’d give it a while longer before I give up on the medication.
Hi! My son has ADHD. He is going to be 9 in two weeks. He’s been on medication since he was 5. We went through about 4 different kinds before finally getting on the Daytrana patch. He’s been on that for about a year now and I can’t tell you how its changed our lives. Its hard to get a kid to swallow a pill when they don’t swallow pills and capsules you can pour into food sometimes don’t last all day, so the patch is heaven sent. People have told me I shouldn’t drug my son. People have looked at me like I suck as a mother when he’s had his tantrums. You name it, we’ve been through it. I’ve cried, I’ve felt guilty, I’ve felt like I am the worst mom ever.
I’ve been through everything you’re going through with J and if you have any questions, please feel free to email me.