Archive for June 30th, 2008

Even the Best Parents…

When we were first given the ADHD diagnosis for the J-man, Dr. S. told us "A child with J’s profile will make even the best parents in the universe feel completely incompetent."


We’re into week two of our medication trial and on our second medication.  The first medication MIGHT have been having some side effects.  We THINK.  But we’re not really sure.  I would have liked to have seen a few more days of the medication to be sure that it wasn’t just all a big coincidence.  But J refused to take it 3 days out of 6.  So no dice.  To get him to take it, we bribed him heavily, and on the days he didn’t take it… Oh the fits that ensued when the bribe was not forthcoming!  Absolutely indescribable! 

And so… we moved to a patch. And he’s VERY proud of his "sticker" which he knows he’s not allowed to take off and he knows he’s not allowed to show to anyone (it’s on his posterior, so showing it off would be quite rude). 

Day one of the patch we used 1/2 a patch and got limited feedback from school, so Saturday we moved to a full patch.  Well, we did NOT see our son that day at ALL.  We saw a withdrawn little boy who was listless and sad, tired and lonely.  Not at all our happy, bouncy little monster.  I did not like this little boy much at all.  I mean, I loved him, of course, but I missed my J-man.  Where had he gone?  Is this what I was doing to him?  I saw little glimmers of my beautiful boy whenever he got to do something physically active, but so long as he was sedentary, he was listless, withdrawn, quiet, introspective, sniffly, and sad.

Sunday we tried again with a whole patch, knowing he would have a very active day as we went out to visit Jess and her five little monkeys.  And he was totally fine.  He was calm, but happy.  He was a good listener.  He was active at appropriate times, but not out of control.  He played nicely.  He was animated.  He was a little bored when the other kids were asleep, but he generally had a GOOD time and was my J-man again.  It was awesome. 

Today?  We gave him a full patch again.  I called the school just now to see how he’s doing and he’s BOUNCING OFF WALLS.  Can’t sit still, can’t listen, can’t behave himself, can’t control his behavior, totally impulsive. 

I just. don’t.  know.  what.  to.  think.

His fits before and after the medicine take effect and wear off are completely out of control, but we’ll approach this with behavior management therapy.  This will take time.  But the medication?  I’m just… I’m at a total loss.  TOTAL LOSS.  I feel unbelievably incompetent.


Meanwhile, we’ve joined CHADD. I’ve got to-do lists. I’ve got a notebook started.  We’ve got reading lists.  What more can we do?

Read Full Post »