ChezPerky

I’ve had too much going on to ever catch up on everything I want to say, but here are some of the highlights:

First, The triplets’ 12 month appointment went very well. They are developing quite well, and accounting for their prematurity, they are right where we’d like to see them developmentally. They’re not doing everything you’d expect a 12 month to be doing, but they’re doing most of the things you’d expect a 10 month old to be doing. Their gross motor skills are just where you’d expect a 12 month old to be, though, so they’re right on the curve in that respect. The doctor is really pleased with how far they’ve come.

The best part is I asked about how vigilant I need to be this year during flu and RSV season and he said that none of my kids has ever shown any sign of respiratory problems (except J) or asthma, and that it’s impossible to quarantine a baby, particularly with a school-aged kid in the house. He said we should lead normal lives this winter and not quarantine ourselves again. He told us what to look out for if the kids do get a cold and seem to be laboring more than they should be or seem to be in distress, but otherwise said to start acting like normal parents – or at least as normal as we can be with triplets. That being said, I think we WILL limit trips to the mall and such (not that we make any of those), but we won’t limit trips to synagogue (not that we make so many of those) and while we’ll ask people who come into the house to wash their hands, last year we wouldn’t let anyone in the house who had so much as a sniffle – this year we’re not going to such great lengths. The threat of three very sick babies was much scarier than the vague possibility of three moderately ill toddlers.

The only thing I mentioned to the doctor (and I prefaced it with a strong warning of "I’m NOT worried") that I wondered if I should be taking note of was the fact that Abby really isn’t babbling much particularly in comparison to Sam and Ellie. Frankly, none of the babies babble much compared to other one year olds, but Abby is by far the quietest of the bunch. He actually took more note of it than I expected he would, but said it was something he would just keep an eye on for now. But he wants to be reminded of it if we still see her lagging behind by her 15 month appointment. On an unrelated topic, he also noted that Abby has a heart murmur, which we’d never picked up on before. He thinks it’s just a normal murmur, but wanted us to know about it anyway, in case we were ever asked about it. Also it’s a good thing to keep track of. While I know that this is a perfectly normal thing to pick up on, I admit to being somewhat alarmed – I have a heart murmur myself, but mine is s pecifically related to the patent foramen ovale that I have. While a PFO is generally innocuous, it does lead to a higher risk of stroke (I had a TIA when I was 23) and an increased risk of chronic migraines (hello? that’s me!). So I’m trying to remember that lots of people have boring normal murmurs, but my heart did skip a beat when he told me he was hearing a murmur listening to Abby’s heart.

The other bit of news is that on Sunday we went out and bought a bunch of new sippy cups. That doesn’t sound like news, does it? The triplets have been drinking water out of sippy cups for a month or so, but on Sunday, they also drank their very last bottle, and moved on to sippy cups. This has meant they’ve been far less interested in drinking milk all together, but the doctor had said that the 10-15 ounces of milk that they’d been drinking each day was way more than enough anyway, and that it was totally fine if they drank less than that. Their calories should really be coming from solid food for the most part anyway. I thought this was interesting since I’ve seen elsewhere that babies this age should be drinking 16-24 ounces of milk, and I was freaking out because I knew my kids weren’t coming close to that, but he was discouraging me from giving them even as much as I was. So we’re good. No more bottles. Sam and Ellie are still nursing. I’m still pumping once a day on average for Abby, but I’m about to stop that. Mostly I’m doing it for my own comfort’s sake – I get too engorged otherwise, but I’m going to have to just stop and deal with a few days of discomfort at some point, I think. How do people actually deal with the discomfort of weaning? I’m assuming dropping the pumping is just the same as if I were dropping a feeding, so it must be the same principle.

Sunday was all about the milestones, because not only did we buy sippy cups and rid ourselves of bottles – we also did another monumental thing… We took the babies out for lunch. Seriously! We went to a local pizza restaurant and they were little champs! They ate pizza and pasta and mozzarella sticks. They made a big huge mess, but they didn’t melt down. We were lucky that when we pulled up to the restaurant, friends of ours coincidentally pulled up to the restaurant at the same time, so we had an extra couple of sets of hands to help us. Poor suckers didn’t know what they were getting into! 🙂 Don’t worry, we cleaned up our mess before we left.

Finally, Rosh Hashana was lovely and probably deserves a post unto itself, not because there was anything so notable about it, but because of the comparison to last year. Last year Rosh Hashana was spent in the hospital trying to keep my babies in. Last year, I spent Rosh Hashana in the hospital, lucky to be in a hospital within walking distance of my house and community and lucky to have people in my community willing to walk the mile or so to come visit me. Last year, I had a nun come into my room to bring Yeshiva students to blow shofar for me, just feet from the NICU in a Catholic Hospital. Last year, the Catholic Hospital Pastoral Care Services was kind enough to put apples and honey on my lunch and dinner trays each day of Rosh Hashana. Last year, on Rosh Hashana, my doctor was setting up my c-section against my wishes for the following week and I threw a fit. She scheduled it for erev Yom Kippur which was flat out unacceptable (never mind that I frankly did NOT want a c -section). It became a moot point by my next ultrasound, though, because baby C had stopped growing and needed to come out, pronto, so my c-section happened the next morning. This year, on Rosh Hashana, I was surrounded by my four beautiful children. This year, I did not need apples and honey to remind me to have a Sweet New Year. This year is filled with the sweetness of baby giggles, the joy of a five year old’s discovery of legos and bionicles, of new words and new skills. This year is filled with the light and happiness of milestones and love and the overabundance of family that I never expected to be blessed with. This year was so markedly different from last year. Last year I didn’t make it to synagogue because I was strapped to monitors, IVs and terbutaline pumps. This year, I made it, but only briefly because I was laden with children, but my prayers were heartfelt and my eyes brimmed with tears of gratitude. I know that I’ve not been perfect, I know that I’m not worthy, but I’m grateful for every second that I have with my family.

I’d like to tell you about the triplets’ first birthday, but I’ve been so busy this week.  I’d like to tell you how cute they were when they dove into their birthday cupcakes Friday after dinner, each with their own unique personalities, but I’ve been too tired at the end of each day to compose a post.   I’d like to write an eloquent post about the triplets first birthday party on Sunday, but the babies have been sick all week, which has been keeping me busy.  I’d like to tell you about their 12 month appointment with the doctor, but now I’m sick. 

So, in the absence of eloquence, I’ll leave you with a few stats and a couple quick pictures, and then… I’m off to bed:

Sam: 21 lbs, 4oz (23rd percentile), 29 inches long (19th percentile) Ellie: 20 lbs, 2 oz (30th percentile), 28 inches long (13th percentile) Abby: 19 lbs (14th percentile), 28 1/2 inches long (24th percentile)

I’ve had people tell me that my babies are really fat; that I’m feeding them too much… but I think it’s clear that they are not.  Even Ellie, my chunkiest, beautiful girl is only in the 30th percentile.  My babies are perfect.  I’ll tell you more about their visit to the doctor when I’m feeling better.

Now for a couple pictures before bed:

Ellie loved her cake!

Abby was snarly and threw her cake around, but she loved it!

Sam got cake EVERYWHERE.

We did it!  A year ago, three little tiny lives entered this world. When I was waiting for the delivery to begin, I kept telling myself to remember what the neonatologist told me when I was first admitted to the hospital: they like it if the babies cry when they’re first born, but it’s okay if they don’t; it doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It’s okay if they don’t cry. I just kept repeating that to myself. There was so much noise in the delivery room, with so many people bustling around.  But all I could hear was the deafening silence waiting for my babies to be born. It’s okay if they don’t cry. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong. What would I do if they didn’t cry? Would I panic? Would I be okay? And then, suddenly, the doctor said, “Baby Boy!” I held my breath. It’s okay if he doesn’t cry. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong. 9:43am. And then, a tiny cry, a flurry of activity. Baby Boy Perky was whisked off to another room to be assessed and stabilized. There wasn’t enough room in my delivery room for three babies, you see. Seconds later, the next baby came out. “Hi Baby!” said the doctor. Baby What? ”Baby Girl!” It’s okay if she doesn’t cry. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong. A tiny cry. 9:44am. A flurry of activity. Time for Baby C’s arrival – It’s okay if the baby doesn’t cry. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong. “Baby Girl!” Before I could even think it again, the tiniest of cries, to match the tiniest of babies. 9:44am. Three healthy babies. Three beautiful tiny cries. One grateful mommy.

A year has passed. A year in which I’ve pumped 91 gallons of milk for my babies. A year in which we’ve changed over 6500 diapers. A year in which we’ve lost hundreds of hours of sleep that we’ll never re-claim. A year has passed in which we’ve learned just how huge our capacity to love our children is. A year in which we’ve discovered that it IS possible to juggle three babies, a four year old, two full time jobs (one for each of us) and still come out happy on the other side. Also a year in which we’ve discovered that yes, you can actually fall asleep standing up. Seth discovered that it IS possible to triple your caffeine intake. I discovered that there’s only so long that I can handle sleep deprivation, but the good news is that all the babies DID learn to sleep through the night about halfway through their first year.

I’m not sure how we got through those early weeks, to be honest. It’s a bit of a blur. Once the babies came home from the NICU, it was a lot of feed-a-baby, change-a-baby, feed-a-baby, change-a-baby, feed-a-baby, change-a-baby, pump, lather-rinse-repeat. But we did it!  We did it together. People ask me if I think that our marriage has suffered from the strain of having higher order multiples, but I think our marriage is much stronger because of it. Having triplets has just taught us that we are a team and we can make anything work together. It’s an amazing journey we’ve taken together.

These babies are absolute little miracles – all of them. There was a time that I didn’t know if I would ever have a baby to hold in my arms and today, when I sit down on the living room floor, my babies swarm over to me to be held. They fight to be the first one in my arms to get their hugs and kisses. They have come so far in the last year and I just can’t believe it.

A year ago Sam and Ellie were 3 pounds, 12 ounces each.  They each dropped below 3.5 pounds and were just over 4 pounds when they were discharged from the NICU 24 days after they were born.   Ellie struggled fro months with a failure to thrive diagnosis, refusing to eat, unable to gain any weight, worrying us all sick, until finally she started growing again.  Today, they are both just about 20 pounds.   A year ago, Abby was a mere 2 pounds, 11 ounces and she dropped to 2 pounds 4 ounces in the NICU.  When she was discharged from the NICU, she was still under 4 pounds.  Today, she’s over 17 pounds. 

A year ago my babies had to be taught how to eat; they didn’t have the "suck/swallow/breathe" reflex that full-term babies have, so they received a good deal of their nutrition via a TPN, and later, via gavage tubes, as they slowly learned how to bottle and breastfeed.  Today, they eat all the same things that we eat and they gobble them right up.  Ellie and Abby have really good pincer grasps, and Sam just rakes everything right up into his mouth.  They are all showing signs that they might like to try using a spoon all by themselves at some point, but Mommy isn’t quite brave enough to try that out just yet. 

A year ago they never cried and the only sounds they ever made sounded like tiny mewing kittens.  Now they babble and giggle, though less than most babies I hear.  I’m told that multiples babble and talk later than singletons and that this is totally normal development.  Ellie is the most interested in exploring the world of syllables and definitely is trying out her vocal chords.  Abby is the most quiet and reserved of the bunch, but is definitely giggly and happy.  Sam seems finally to be letting go of his enormously loud happy screech, which, while endearing, was quite ear-piercing. 

A year ago, the babies barely had the energy to move their tiny hands and feet.  Now they are crawling everywhere and our house is filled with baby gates and baby corrals.  They are all cruising, and Ellie has even taken a few steps.  Seth spotted Sam taking one step, but Abby has no interest whatsoever in walking. I think she thinks that if she walks, she won’t get picked up as often.

Each of my babies has come so far in the past year and I’m so proud of them.  Seth really said it best when he was looking at a picture the other day.  He said, simply, "I just love them so much!"

Me too.  I just love them so, so much.