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To Anonymous

January 22, 2008 by chezperky

Two posts in one night! Imagine that!

In my last post, Anonymous asked, "Why are you leaving the babies to go back to work??? Who is keeping them and is it really cost effective?" A couple people got defensive, rightfully so, on my behalf and anonymous responded again with, "UMMMM….I don't know why everyone is so defensive…I was asking a serious question and wanting a valid response…"

Now, part of me doesn't want to dignify this with a response because the tone of both of these comments is quite condescending and rude. And this is clearly someone who doesn't read my posts very often or very thoroughly because the post RIGHT BEFORE THAT ONE CLEARLY EXPLAINED THE WHOLE WORK THING. So I suggest, Anonymous, that you simply go and read this post:

http://perkyovary.blogspot.com/2008/01/doctors-galore-and-your-questions.html

Scroll down to the part that says "Your Questions Answered" and then I even suggest reading the comments and seeing some of the other folks' in the blogosphere's perspective on this issue.

The tone of your initial question, "why are you leaving the babies?" is rather accusatory. You make it seem like I'm doing something selfish without thinking of them. But I AM thinking of them. I was thinking that I would prefer that they live in a house rather than a tent and I happen to know that we cannot afford to pay our mortgage with just one salary. I have been out of work for seven months (three months on bed rest and four months since they were born) and we are out of reserves. We are out of money. If I were to stay home another month, we couldn't continue to buy food, and I'm NOT exaggerating. Was it really necessary for you to add THREE question marks after your question? I understood you were asking a question without the extra punctuation. All you did was express your incredulity with those extra question marks which added to the accusatory nature of your question, which is why people jumped down your throat and defended me.

As for whether it's cost effective, that is really none of your fucking business and I'm so damn tired of that question. But here is the final word on that question: Yes. It is cost effective. My nanny is well-paid, but not as well paid as I am. I have a longer explanation of the long-term cost effectiveness in the above-referenced post.

But do you know what REALLY pisses me the hell off? Your statement that you want a "valid" response. Fuck you. Seriously. I don't curse a lot in my blog, really, but you deserve it. I don't owe you any explanation at all, valid or otherwise. Going back to work is MY decision. If I go back to work just because I ENJOY work that's a valid enough explanation for anyone, dammit. As it happens, I have NO desire to return to work, but I NEED to return to work and I don't owe you (or anyone else) any explanation.

And I don't give a damn whether that's valid according to your definition.

Posted in trolling | 30 Comments »

Finally Getting to Your Questions

January 21, 2008 by chezperky

Ilahee asked:
as a breast feeding mom of a singleton, i’m curious as to what and how much you eat… are you still constantly hungry?

I’m supposed to eat 3500-4000 calories per day. In reality, I eat far less than that. I eat at least ine Quaker Oatmeal To Go bar per day, as that’s the only way I like oatmeal. When I do eat, I eat ridiculously sized portions, because I never seem to be hungry until I start eating and then I’m positively ravenous. I definitely crave more protein than I used to, and I have to work harder to make healthy choices because I don’t have so much time to make food, so convenience foods are tempting. Mostly, though, I have unquenchable thirst and I go through water like you wouldn’t believe.

Anonymous Wrote:
Is this the OB/GYN for whom you weren’t sure of the best way to switch to the perinatologist without harming the relationship? It sounds like things between you are well. How nice that he visited you in the hospital!
Would adding calories to any EBM feedings Ellie takes be useful? Is the issue more to figure out what is going on, why she isn’t eating enough, and that if it weren’t for the hunger strikes, she’d be gaining fine?

Yes, this is the very same OB/GYN, and things did work out fine. I told him he’d be delivering my next baby, darnit, because my NEXT baby is going to be a SINGLETON, so help me! It was lovely that he visited me in the hospital and if I ever get around to writing about my last couple days in the hospital and my birth story (yes, I was supposed to write that before I start work tomorrow…yeah, um, that just didn’t happen), I’ll write about that visit.

Adding calories to Ellie’s EBM feedings wouldn’t necessarily have been useful before because she really wasn’t getting any EBM feedings. Now that I’m going back to work she’s getting many more EBM feedings so it may be more worth it. HOWEVER, what it will accomplish is curing the symptom (poor weight gain), but it will be unlikely to solve the underlying problem, if there IS any underlying problem. The real question is why doesn’t she want to eat more often? Babies, as a general rule, do not go on hunger strikes, so why does she? Today she ate like a mad woman, but that’s unusual. Most days she has to be woken up every 4 hours and force-fed. Anyway, it’s not a bad idea, and certainly one we’ve thought about, but not necessarily one that fixes the problem.

My Reality writes:
I have a question. Can we have more pics of the trio? Please?

Yes! I’ll take care of that next!

Carol Asked:
Speaking of weight – how’s yours going? are you still losing? I’m down 23 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight now. Breastfeeding multiples is great!

I’m down 65 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, but that’s a little unfair considering that I lost about 30 pounds while I was pregnant. I lost another 35 pounds within a few weeks of delivering the triplets and have been holding steady since then. Considering how much I’m eating compared to how little I normally eat, I’m surprised I’m not packing on the pounds. Truth be told, I still have about 40 pounds to lose before I’m down to my “ideal” weight, so I have nothing to brag about!

On a personal note… a lot of people write that they are in awe of me for breast feeding triplets… If I could get my shit together to write my birth story, I’ve got a post brewing about bresat feeding also, but the long and the sort of it is that I can’t imagine it any other way. I can’t say that I believe formula would be any easier, and it would certainly be more expensive. We’ve had every single breast feeding problem you could ask for… plugged ducts, mastitis, thrush, latching difficulties, short frenulum, sore nipples, you name it, but I still cannot imagine not breast feeding them. They have received no formula since they were four days old and the three of them together received a TOTAL of fewer than three ounces of formula in their lifetime (not counting fortifying Abby’s EBM for a while), and I’m very proud of that. I’m terrified that when I go back to work I won’t be able to keep up with it, but I’m going to do my best. I’ve got 99 ounces of milk in the freezer to help me keep up in case I slip with the production at first, so I feel fairly confident that I’ll be able to keep up once I get a handle on my schedule.

Finally, two great things happened today: First, I got to meet Jessica and her Five Little Monkeys and her fabulous husband Jon today. They were fantastic and I’m so glad I finally got to meet them in person. Second, my friend Connie delivered her triplets at 34 weeks, 5 days gestation. She’s a superstar. She had 2 girls and a boy, just like me, so I have someone I can pass on lots of stuff to! I’m so thrilled for her and now I have to convince her to start a blog! 🙂

Posted in breastfeeding, FAQ | 9 Comments »

Finally Getting to Your Questions

January 21, 2008 by chezperky

Ilahee asked:
as a breast feeding mom of a singleton, i'm curious as to what and how much you eat… are you still constantly hungry?

I'm supposed to eat 3500-4000 calories per day. In reality, I eat far less than that. I eat at least ine Quaker Oatmeal To Go bar per day, as that's the only way I like oatmeal. When I do eat, I eat ridiculously sized portions, because I never seem to be hungry until I start eating and then I'm positively ravenous. I definitely crave more protein than I used to, and I have to work harder to make healthy choices because I don't have so much time to make food, so convenience foods are tempting. Mostly, though, I have unquenchable thirst and I go through water like you wouldn't believe.

Anonymous Wrote:
Is this the OB/GYN for whom you weren't sure of the best way to switch to the perinatologist without harming the relationship? It sounds like things between you are well. How nice that he visited you in the hospital!
Would adding calories to any EBM feedings Ellie takes be useful? Is the issue more to figure out what is going on, why she isn't eating enough, and that if it weren't for the hunger strikes, she'd be gaining fine?

Yes, this is the very same OB/GYN, and things did work out fine. I told him he'd be delivering my next baby, darnit, because my NEXT baby is going to be a SINGLETON, so help me! It was lovely that he visited me in the hospital and if I ever get around to writing about my last couple days in the hospital and my birth story (yes, I was supposed to write that before I start work tomorrow…yeah, um, that just didn't happen), I'll write about that visit.

Adding calories to Ellie's EBM feedings wouldn't necessarily have been useful before because she really wasn't getting any EBM feedings. Now that I'm going back to work she's getting many more EBM feedings so it may be more worth it. HOWEVER, what it will accomplish is curing the symptom (poor weight gain), but it will be unlikely to solve the underlying problem, if there IS any underlying problem. The real question is why doesn't she want to eat more often? Babies, as a general rule, do not go on hunger strikes, so why does she? Today she ate like a mad woman, but that's unusual. Most days she has to be woken up every 4 hours and force-fed. Anyway, it's not a bad idea, and certainly one we've thought about, but not necessarily one that fixes the problem.

My Reality writes:
I have a question. Can we have more pics of the trio? Please?

Yes! I'll take care of that next!

Carol Asked:
Speaking of weight – how's yours going? are you still losing? I'm down 23 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight now. Breastfeeding multiples is great!

I'm down 65 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, but that's a little unfair considering that I lost about 30 pounds while I was pregnant. I lost another 35 pounds within a few weeks of delivering the triplets and have been holding steady since then. Considering how much I'm eating compared to how little I normally eat, I'm surprised I'm not packing on the pounds. Truth be told, I still have about 40 pounds to lose before I'm down to my "ideal" weight, so I have nothing to brag about!

On a personal note… a lot of people write that they are in awe of me for breast feeding triplets… If I could get my shit together to write my birth story, I've got a post brewing about bresat feeding also, but the long and the sort of it is that I can't imagine it any other way. I can't say that I believe formula would be any easier, and it would certainly be more expensive. We've had every single breast feeding problem you could ask for… plugged ducts, mastitis, thrush, latching difficulties, short frenulum, sore nipples, you name it, but I still cannot imagine not breast feeding them. They have received no formula since they were four days old and the three of them together received a TOTAL of fewer than three ounces of formula in their lifetime (not counting fortifying Abby's EBM for a while), and I'm very proud of that. I'm terrified that when I go back to work I won't be able to keep up with it, but I'm going to do my best. I've got 99 ounces of milk in the freezer to help me keep up in case I slip with the production at first, so I feel fairly confident that I'll be able to keep up once I get a handle on my schedule.

Finally, two great things happened today: First, I got to meet Jessica and her Five Little Monkeys and her fabulous husband Jon today. They were fantastic and I'm so glad I finally got to meet them in person. Second, my friend Connie delivered her triplets at 34 weeks, 5 days gestation. She's a superstar. She had 2 girls and a boy, just like me, so I have someone I can pass on lots of stuff to! I'm so thrilled for her and now I have to convince her to start a blog! 🙂

Posted in breastfeeding, FAQ | 4 Comments »

Doctors Galore and Your Questions Answered

January 4, 2008 by chezperky

GYN Appointment
I had an OB/GYN appointment on Wednesday back with my regular doctor (no more perinatologist for me!). It was the first time I’ve seen him since a few days before I delivered when he came to visit me in the hospital, so it was good to see him, though I could have done without the exam! I was surprised at how many of my old feelings were still with me sitting in the waiting room amongst all the pregnant women there. You’d think having been through a pregnancy (one that lasted, even) and having three babies to show for it, that I wouldn’t still feel like a completely inadequate in a roomful of pregnant women. But I was never one of those women…I never had the luxury of taking my pregnancy for granted. I didn’t get to ever assume everything was fine because I had a pregnancy that was nearly guaranteed to result in a premature delivery and one in which things seemed to be going wrong every week (and I didn’t have as bad a time as I could have). Anyway, I don’t mind pregnant women…some of my best friends are pregnant women..I just find it overwhelming to be around that many at once.

The doctor asked whether my husband and I were doing anything about birth control. I missed my opportunity to answer with, “Well abstinence is the preferred method of Congress…” because I burst out laughing. Instead of lecturing me about the fact that there are lots of women who end up with an “oops baby” after years of fertility treatment, he just asked whether I’d be depressed if I ended up surprised by a pregnancy. After I stopped laughing, I told him I would die of shock because it would be the immaculate conception, but that we’d be thrilled to pieces. That satisfied him, so he was okay with me not doing anything to prevent it. I was actually a little surprised not to get a lecture about not wanting to be pregnant so soon after a triplet pregnancy and c-section (I got that lecture from the perinatologist while I was pregnant), but I’m cool with that. I’m very certain I’m not going to find myself surprised with a pregnancy anytime soon, or, like, ever.

I told him I was still bitter about the c-section and he said, “what do you mean?” He was shocked that I’d ever thought I could have a vaginal triplet delivery, and was surprised to learn that two of the perinatologists in the practice I went to have done (and were willing to do) vaginal triplet deliveries. I always knew that the odds were against me avoiding the c-section, but had Abby not been so little, they would have let me try it. Anyway, I told him that I’m all ready for my VBAC because I’m definitely going for a normal singleton pregnancy some day, darnit! I told him that HE was going to deliver my next baby because it was going to be JUST ONE. I’m not sure that I really have that much confidence that I’ll manage to get pregnant again, but I’m certainly going to try (while praying that the Big Guy Upstairs doesn’t have a sick enough sense of humor to send me quadruplets next time).

Pediatrician
I took Ellie to the pediatrician on Friday for a weight check. Well, I mean, all three babies went, but only Ellie got weighed and seen. I’ve known our pediatrician for about ten years (we used to attend the same synagogue, long before I had any kids), and I adore him. There are several other doctors in the practice, but I’ve made nearly all of our appointments with him because of Ellie’s weight issues. I prefer seeing him because he’s got a better appreciation of the trends we’ve been seeing with Ellie’s progress (or lack thereof) and because I just like him in general. One time when I saw another doctor for one of Ellie’s weight checks, she sort of shrugged me off as if I was overreacting. I admit that I was beginning to wonder if perhaps I was overreacting to Ellie’s lack of weight gain – she’s just so little compared to Abby and Sam. But she remains an enigma. She was 7 pounds, 7 ounces this week… which was only a 7 ounce gain in 17 days. Not terrible, but not quite what we would have liked to have seen, either. Even Dr. B said it would just be nice if she would go one way or another… slightly less gain and we would have known we needed to explore options, or slightly more and we’d know there was no problem whatsoever. She consistently gains less than he’d like to see her doing, but not so much so that it points to an obvious problem. He, like me, is somewhat worried, but not inclined to intervene too much at this point. She’s not showing any other signs of reflux (she rarely spits up, she’s not fussy when she goes on her all-too-frequent hunger strikes, she doesn’t quit in the middle of feedings, she doesn’t seem uncomfortable during or after feedings…), so trying reflux medication probably wouldn’t do anything other than giving us one more thing to have to keep track of on a daily basis. He doesn’t want to torture her with a huge blood draw for a metabolic screen, but he did do a small blood draw to check her thyroid hormone (T4, TSH), so we’ll see if that illuminates us at all.

The triplets are scheduled to return for their four month visit in two weeks, and he said we’ll just keep an eye on her until then and if I feel that things are taking a turn for the worse in the interim, I’m more than welcome to bring her in for another weight check. I doubt that I’ll feel the need, but you never know. It’s nice to know that they don’t think I’m just an overreacting new mom, but I do wish she would just gain a little more weight a little faster so we could stop worrying all together. Poor baby. The doc WAS impressed that Ellie is pretty consistently sucking her thumb. Thumb sucking is apparently a developmental milestone you expect of a full term baby at 3 or 4 months, so she’s about 2 months ahead of schedule. Go Ellie! Anywho, we’re back to our wait-and-see strategy with her, and that’s fine. I just wish she didn’t have hunger strikes!

Your Questions Answered
Allie posted this question in a comment recently:

Is it really going to be cost effective to pay for childcare for 3 kids?? I hear that childcare for 1 is bad enougth…but I can’t imagine paying for childcare for 3 newborns!!!! Won’t you just be working to pay for childcare costs??

I get this question (or similar questions) a lot and I don’t really understand it. No one knows how much I make or how much we’ll be paying a nanny, so why do people assume that it’s not cost effective? And why does no one ask my husband whether it’s cost effective for him to work?? We make the same amount of money! The truth is, it IS cost effective, not only in the short run, but definitely in the long run. I make more money than we’ll be paying the nanny. Does that mean we can afford a nanny? No. We still have more bills than we know what to do with. But we can’t pay much more than the mortgage and a few utilities with my husband’s salary alone and we’ve eaten through what little reserves we had with me out of work for the last seven months (bed rest for three months and almost four months since… time flies when you’re sleep deprived). Anyway, in the short run, yes, it is cost effective for me to work. It would not be if I made less money.

More importantly, however, it is cost effective in the long run. If I were to pull myself out of the job market until the kids went to kindergarten or 1st grade, I would no longer be marketable in my field because the standards and technology are changing too rapidly for me to keep up on my own. So even if we were losing money on a nanny at this point, it would be worth it in the long run because there is no other field that I’m qualified for in which I could maintain my current salary years down the road.

And while it’s true that I have little desire to return to work, I find it odd that no one seems to consider the possibility that maybe I like what I do. (I do like what I do, though I’d gladly give it up for the opportunity to stay home with my sweet babies if we could swing it financially). Anyway, enough of that…

Tinker asked:
How do you add calories to breastmilk? Feed it from a bottle and add a supplement of sorts? What kind of supplement?

You can fortify breastmilk by adding a higher calorie supplement to expressed breastmilk in a bottle. Breastmilk and standard formulas have 20 calories per ounce. Preemie formulas have 22 or 24 calories per ounce (I think there is also 27 calorie, but I’m not certain). So Abby used to get fortified breastmilk by adding 1/2 a teaspoon of preemie formula to 3 ounces of breastmilk, which raised it to 22 calories per ounce. She’s not getting extra calories anymore, though, because she’s done sufficient catch up growth.

Several people have asked whether I will continue breastfeeding when I go back to work and the answer is, of course, yes. I’ll be pumping during breaks and overnight (and obviously breastfeeding whenever I’m home with them). I’m very pleased that I’ve made it this far without needing any formula (who can afford formula for three babies??), and my hope is to make it until they are at least 6 months adjusted before adding anything else to their diets.

Any other questions?

Posted in FAQ, life, parenting, triplets? | 17 Comments »

Doctors Galore and Your Questions Answered

January 4, 2008 by chezperky

GYN Appointment
I had an OB/GYN appointment on Wednesday back with my regular doctor (no more perinatologist for me!). It was the first time I've seen him since a few days before I delivered when he came to visit me in the hospital, so it was good to see him, though I could have done without the exam! I was surprised at how many of my old feelings were still with me sitting in the waiting room amongst all the pregnant women there. You'd think having been through a pregnancy (one that lasted, even) and having three babies to show for it, that I wouldn't still feel like a completely inadequate in a roomful of pregnant women. But I was never one of those women…I never had the luxury of taking my pregnancy for granted. I didn't get to ever assume everything was fine because I had a pregnancy that was nearly guaranteed to result in a premature delivery and one in which things seemed to be going wrong every week (and I didn't have as bad a time as I could have). Anyway, I don't mind pregnant women…some of my best friends are pregnant women..I just find it overwhelming to be around that many at once.

The doctor asked whether my husband and I were doing anything about birth control. I missed my opportunity to answer with, "Well abstinence is the preferred method of Congress…" because I burst out laughing. Instead of lecturing me about the fact that there are lots of women who end up with an "oops baby" after years of fertility treatment, he just asked whether I'd be depressed if I ended up surprised by a pregnancy. After I stopped laughing, I told him I would die of shock because it would be the immaculate conception, but that we'd be thrilled to pieces. That satisfied him, so he was okay with me not doing anything to prevent it. I was actually a little surprised not to get a lecture about not wanting to be pregnant so soon after a triplet pregnancy and c-section (I got that lecture from the perinatologist while I was pregnant), but I'm cool with that. I'm very certain I'm not going to find myself surprised with a pregnancy anytime soon, or, like, ever.

I told him I was still bitter about the c-section and he said, "what do you mean?" He was shocked that I'd ever thought I could have a vaginal triplet delivery, and was surprised to learn that two of the perinatologists in the practice I went to have done (and were willing to do) vaginal triplet deliveries. I always knew that the odds were against me avoiding the c-section, but had Abby not been so little, they would have let me try it. Anyway, I told him that I'm all ready for my VBAC because I'm definitely going for a normal singleton pregnancy some day, darnit! I told him that HE was going to deliver my next baby because it was going to be JUST ONE. I'm not sure that I really have that much confidence that I'll manage to get pregnant again, but I'm certainly going to try (while praying that the Big Guy Upstairs doesn't have a sick enough sense of humor to send me quadruplets next time).

Pediatrician
I took Ellie to the pediatrician on Friday for a weight check. Well, I mean, all three babies went, but only Ellie got weighed and seen. I've known our pediatrician for about ten years (we used to attend the same synagogue, long before I had any kids), and I adore him. There are several other doctors in the practice, but I've made nearly all of our appointments with him because of Ellie's weight issues. I prefer seeing him because he's got a better appreciation of the trends we've been seeing with Ellie's progress (or lack thereof) and because I just like him in general. One time when I saw another doctor for one of Ellie's weight checks, she sort of shrugged me off as if I was overreacting. I admit that I was beginning to wonder if perhaps I was overreacting to Ellie's lack of weight gain – she's just so little compared to Abby and Sam. But she remains an enigma. She was 7 pounds, 7 ounces this week… which was only a 7 ounce gain in 17 days. Not terrible, but not quite what we would have liked to have seen, either. Even Dr. B said it would just be nice if she would go one way or another… slightly less gain and we would have known we needed to explore options, or slightly more and we'd know there was no problem whatsoever. She consistently gains less than he'd like to see her doing, but not so much so that it points to an obvious problem. He, like me, is somewhat worried, but not inclined to intervene too much at this point. She's not showing any other signs of reflux (she rarely spits up, she's not fussy when she goes on her all-too-frequent hunger strikes, she doesn't quit in the middle of feedings, she doesn't seem uncomfortable during or after feedings…), so trying reflux medication probably wouldn't do anything other than giving us one more thing to have to keep track of on a daily basis. He doesn't want to torture her with a huge blood draw for a metabolic screen, but he did do a small blood draw to check her thyroid hormone (T4, TSH), so we'll see if that illuminates us at all.

The triplets are scheduled to return for their four month visit in two weeks, and he said we'll just keep an eye on her until then and if I feel that things are taking a turn for the worse in the interim, I'm more than welcome to bring her in for another weight check. I doubt that I'll feel the need, but you never know. It's nice to know that they don't think I'm just an overreacting new mom, but I do wish she would just gain a little more weight a little faster so we could stop worrying all together. Poor baby. The doc WAS impressed that Ellie is pretty consistently sucking her thumb. Thumb sucking is apparently a developmental milestone you expect of a full term baby at 3 or 4 months, so she's about 2 months ahead of schedule. Go Ellie! Anywho, we're back to our wait-and-see strategy with her, and that's fine. I just wish she didn't have hunger strikes!

Your Questions Answered
Allie posted this question in a comment recently:

Is it really going to be cost effective to pay for childcare for 3 kids?? I hear that childcare for 1 is bad enougth…but I can't imagine paying for childcare for 3 newborns!!!! Won't you just be working to pay for childcare costs??

I get this question (or similar questions) a lot and I don't really understand it. No one knows how much I make or how much we'll be paying a nanny, so why do people assume that it's not cost effective? And why does no one ask my husband whether it's cost effective for him to work?? We make the same amount of money! The truth is, it IS cost effective, not only in the short run, but definitely in the long run. I make more money than we'll be paying the nanny. Does that mean we can afford a nanny? No. We still have more bills than we know what to do with. But we can't pay much more than the mortgage and a few utilities with my husband's salary alone and we've eaten through what little reserves we had with me out of work for the last seven months (bed rest for three months and almost four months since… time flies when you're sleep deprived). Anyway, in the short run, yes, it is cost effective for me to work. It would not be if I made less money.

More importantly, however, it is cost effective in the long run. If I were to pull myself out of the job market until the kids went to kindergarten or 1st grade, I would no longer be marketable in my field because the standards and technology are changing too rapidly for me to keep up on my own. So even if we were losing money on a nanny at this point, it would be worth it in the long run because there is no other field that I'm qualified for in which I could maintain my current salary years down the road.

And while it's true that I have little desire to return to work, I find it odd that no one seems to consider the possibility that maybe I like what I do. (I do like what I do, though I'd gladly give it up for the opportunity to stay home with my sweet babies if we could swing it financially). Anyway, enough of that…

Tinker asked:
How do you add calories to breastmilk? Feed it from a bottle and add a supplement of sorts? What kind of supplement?

You can fortify breastmilk by adding a higher calorie supplement to expressed breastmilk in a bottle. Breastmilk and standard formulas have 20 calories per ounce. Preemie formulas have 22 or 24 calories per ounce (I think there is also 27 calorie, but I'm not certain). So Abby used to get fortified breastmilk by adding 1/2 a teaspoon of preemie formula to 3 ounces of breastmilk, which raised it to 22 calories per ounce. She's not getting extra calories anymore, though, because she's done sufficient catch up growth.

Several people have asked whether I will continue breastfeeding when I go back to work and the answer is, of course, yes. I'll be pumping during breaks and overnight (and obviously breastfeeding whenever I'm home with them). I'm very pleased that I've made it this far without needing any formula (who can afford formula for three babies??), and my hope is to make it until they are at least 6 months adjusted before adding anything else to their diets.

Any other questions?

Posted in FAQ, life, parenting, triplets? | 18 Comments »

Resolution

January 1, 2008 by chezperky

I never make New Year’s Resolutions. Until now.

This year I resolve to write out the details of the triplets’ birth and NICU experience before I return to work at the end of this month.

It doesn’t sound like much, but it might take a miracle to pull it off.

Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

Resolution

January 1, 2008 by chezperky

I never make New Year's Resolutions. Until now.

This year I resolve to write out the details of the triplets' birth and NICU experience before I return to work at the end of this month.

It doesn't sound like much, but it might take a miracle to pull it off.

Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments »

Book Review: Having A Baby…When the Old Fashioned Way Isn’t Working

December 26, 2007 by chezperky

I was asked to review Cindy Margolis’ new book, Having a Baby…When the Old Fashioned Way Isn’t Working: Hope and Help for Everyone Facing Infertility, and I agreed. For those of you who don’t know, Cindy Margolis is the celebrity spokesperson for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. While I realize now how crazy it was to agree to read, let alone review, a book with newborn triplets in the house, I did get the book read and I will now attempt to write a coherent review between feedings!

I really wanted to love this book. I think Cindy Margolis has done a lot of good for the world of the infertile myrtle, having been brave enough to talk about something no one talks about in a very public forum (Cindy first came out of the infertility closet on an Entertainment Tonight interview!). Alas, I can’t say that I would recommend this book without some serious reservations. I enjoyed reading Cindy and Guy’s personal tale of their infertility journey, and I wish that had been the true focal point of the book. Had Cindy presented her story, and the other personal stories of other people that she included in the book, and left it at that, I probably would have recommended this book heartily. But she took it a step further and tried to provide insight into the medical procedures one might endure in an infertility workup and treatment as well as insight into the surrogacy and adoption process.

I actually really appreciated Cindy’s insight into the surrogacy process, including advice on how to identify a surrogate agency, identify the important considerations you might have in picking your surrogate, etc. But when it came to the medical information about infertility, the book fell short, in large part because the information was seriously out-dated. It’s clear that Cindy has been writing this book for a long time, and while the information may have been true when she started writing the book, some of it is just plain untrue today (bear in mind that this book is being published in January 2008, so there’s no excuse for outdated information). I’ll give you one glaring example:

There is nothing normal about in vitro fertilization. Amazing, yes, but normal, no. Frankly, you have to ask yourself what normal even means, when more and more people have to turn to IVF to get and stay pregnant. Add to this the very real possibility of multiples with each attempt, and we’re talking the outer edges of norm, people. And here’s why. To maximize the chances you will get, and more important, stay pregnant, doctors have to play the odds. They’re not going to waste their time and your money implanting only one embryo, as good quality as that embryo may be. Unless you absolutely beg them (and even then I’m not sure you would find a doctor to agree), you will typically want to try up to six embryos each time.

Now that doesn’t mean you’ll end up with sextuplets, although there’s always that chance when you play with Mother Nature. Usually, however, despite the implantation of multiple embryos, only the strongest will survive past the first few days leaving you with a much more likely chance of having the one child you are planning for.

So I’ve got a few problems with the medical information in those paragraphs. First of all, Cindy repeatedly mistakes embryo transfer for embryo implantation. I know this may seem minor, but I think it’s a major misconception which does the infertility community a major disservice. If the medical community could actually implant embryos, we’d never need to do more than a single embryo transfer. But that’s not what happens. Doctors transfer embryos to your uterus and hope that at least one implants in the uterine wall. The fact that people believe doctors actually implant embryos, is one of the reasons that the fertile-myrtle community believes that women who end up pregnant with higher order multiples (this is more common with IUI than IVF, by the way) made irresponsible decisions in their fertility treatment, and that’s just not so. That’s problem number 1.

Problem number 2 is that while it may have been true 5 years ago that doctors would want to transfer as many as six embryos, this is no longer the recommended practice for fertility specialists. In fact, studies have shown that transferring multiple embryos does not increase the chance of pregnancy in a given cycle, it merely increases the chance of a multiple pregnancy! While under some circumstances, a doctor may recommend a 4, 5 or 6 embryo transfer, this is no longer the standard of care. Many doctors are considering single embryo transfer protocol for a large number of patients. Again, this may seem minor, but it isn’t. The point is that there was a medical advisor for this book, so my guess is that this portion of the book was written several years ago and was reviewed then, but hasn’t been re-reviewed since.

If this passage were my only problem with the book, I’d be fine. I didn’t particularly care for the writing style, and I found it to be disorganized. I DID appreciate Cindy’s assertion that it is important to take the stigma off of infertility and important to be talking about it publicly. I agree with her wholeheartedly, and for that reason, I think this is an important book. I just think it could have been executed better. That being said, Cindy’s story is compelling and I appreciate having a first-person account of infertility available in mainstream literature. Anywhozit, I think it’s an okay book for someone starting out on their infertility journey, so long as they ignore the medical information in the book. As for someone deeply entrenched in the infertility process… I’m not sure how much they would get out of it, but I’ve been wrong before.

Posted in book review | 8 Comments »

Book Review: Having A Baby…When the Old Fashioned Way Isn’t Working

December 26, 2007 by chezperky

I was asked to review Cindy Margolis' new book, Having a Baby…When the Old Fashioned Way Isn't Working: Hope and Help for Everyone Facing Infertility, and I agreed. For those of you who don't know, Cindy Margolis is the celebrity spokesperson for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. While I realize now how crazy it was to agree to read, let alone review, a book with newborn triplets in the house, I did get the book read and I will now attempt to write a coherent review between feedings!

I really wanted to love this book. I think Cindy Margolis has done a lot of good for the world of the infertile myrtle, having been brave enough to talk about something no one talks about in a very public forum (Cindy first came out of the infertility closet on an Entertainment Tonight interview!). Alas, I can't say that I would recommend this book without some serious reservations. I enjoyed reading Cindy and Guy's personal tale of their infertility journey, and I wish that had been the true focal point of the book. Had Cindy presented her story, and the other personal stories of other people that she included in the book, and left it at that, I probably would have recommended this book heartily. But she took it a step further and tried to provide insight into the medical procedures one might endure in an infertility workup and treatment as well as insight into the surrogacy and adoption process.

I actually really appreciated Cindy's insight into the surrogacy process, including advice on how to identify a surrogate agency, identify the important considerations you might have in picking your surrogate, etc. But when it came to the medical information about infertility, the book fell short, in large part because the information was seriously out-dated. It's clear that Cindy has been writing this book for a long time, and while the information may have been true when she started writing the book, some of it is just plain untrue today (bear in mind that this book is being published in January 2008, so there's no excuse for outdated information). I'll give you one glaring example:

There is nothing normal about in vitro fertilization. Amazing, yes, but normal, no. Frankly, you have to ask yourself what normal even means, when more and more people have to turn to IVF to get and stay pregnant. Add to this the very real possibility of multiples with each attempt, and we're talking the outer edges of norm, people. And here's why. To maximize the chances you will get, and more important, stay pregnant, doctors have to play the odds. They're not going to waste their time and your money implanting only one embryo, as good quality as that embryo may be. Unless you absolutely beg them (and even then I'm not sure you would find a doctor to agree), you will typically want to try up to six embryos each time.

Now that doesn't mean you'll end up with sextuplets, although there's always that chance when you play with Mother Nature. Usually, however, despite the implantation of multiple embryos, only the strongest will survive past the first few days leaving you with a much more likely chance of having the one child you are planning for.

So I've got a few problems with the medical information in those paragraphs. First of all, Cindy repeatedly mistakes embryo transfer for embryo implantation. I know this may seem minor, but I think it's a major misconception which does the infertility community a major disservice. If the medical community could actually implant embryos, we'd never need to do more than a single embryo transfer. But that's not what happens. Doctors transfer embryos to your uterus and hope that at least one implants in the uterine wall. The fact that people believe doctors actually implant embryos, is one of the reasons that the fertile-myrtle community believes that women who end up pregnant with higher order multiples (this is more common with IUI than IVF, by the way) made irresponsible decisions in their fertility treatment, and that's just not so. That's problem number 1.

Problem number 2 is that while it may have been true 5 years ago that doctors would want to transfer as many as six embryos, this is no longer the recommended practice for fertility specialists. In fact, studies have shown that transferring multiple embryos does not increase the chance of pregnancy in a given cycle, it merely increases the chance of a multiple pregnancy! While under some circumstances, a doctor may recommend a 4, 5 or 6 embryo transfer, this is no longer the standard of care. Many doctors are considering single embryo transfer protocol for a large number of patients. Again, this may seem minor, but it isn't. The point is that there was a medical advisor for this book, so my guess is that this portion of the book was written several years ago and was reviewed then, but hasn't been re-reviewed since.

If this passage were my only problem with the book, I'd be fine. I didn't particularly care for the writing style, and I found it to be disorganized. I DID appreciate Cindy's assertion that it is important to take the stigma off of infertility and important to be talking about it publicly. I agree with her wholeheartedly, and for that reason, I think this is an important book. I just think it could have been executed better. That being said, Cindy's story is compelling and I appreciate having a first-person account of infertility available in mainstream literature. Anywhozit, I think it's an okay book for someone starting out on their infertility journey, so long as they ignore the medical information in the book. As for someone deeply entrenched in the infertility process… I'm not sure how much they would get out of it, but I've been wrong before.

Posted in book review | 7 Comments »

Weight Check

December 20, 2007 by chezperky

The babies had a weight check yesterday at the pediatrician’s office. They are all growing, but Ellie is definitely still a bit of a worry. My big boy Sam is 7 pounds, 14 ounces. He’s so fat and cute and I love him (note: he’s actually not fat for a normal baby, but compared to where he started? He’s SO fat!). I love looking at him and his squishy cheeks and chubby thighs and thinking, “I did that! I grew that baby!” He is fed only breastmilk and takes 95% of his feedings directly from the breast, and it’s amazing. I grew that baby on the inside and out, and it’s an absolute miracle.

More miraculous was our not-so-little-anymore Abbysaurus. Abby weighed in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces! She’s so huge! Abby was our runt to start and it’s incredible to see how well she’s grown. She, too, receives only breastmilk, though she had extra calories added to hers until yesterday, and she refuses to latch on most of the time so she gets it in a bottle. Still, I did that! I’m growing that baby all by myself!

Ellie is also growing but at a much slower and slightly worrisome rate. She is now 7 pounds exactly. Considering that she used to be a full pound bigger than her sister, it’s astounding that she’s now 3/4 of a pound behind her. She gained only 4 ounces in 11 days (she goes in for more frequent weight checks than the other two). The good news is that her eating has improved somewhat and she hasn’t been on a hunger strike in several days, so hopefully her next weight check will show some improvement. She also gets only breastmilk and takes 95% of her feedings from the breast directly, so I feel good about her, but I have a little bit of guilt that something’s going wrong with her growth. Still, I don’t think it’s me, since Sam is so fat.

The babies are all absolutely delicious with their own personalities and their own ways of getting attention. J is fabulous with them, but having really serious adjustment issues at school. We’re meeting with his teacher next week to talk about some strategies for helping him. Sigh. Hopefully things will improve soon.

Two of my pregnant triplet mama friends have had their babies recently, and I’m just so unbelievably happy for them. I know that the NICU time isn’t the easiest (yes, I still plan to write about that experience at some point), but it will be over soon, I promise!

Posted in triplet mania | 10 Comments »

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