ChezPerky

There’s a reason that I use real names on my blog, and I’m going to let you in on the secret. Are you ready? Are you really SURE you’re ready? Are you sitting down?? Okay, here it is: I’m not witty. I am not good at coming up with aliases. I’m not creative or funny or interesting. I have a hard enough time coming up with real life things to say, let along making shit up.

I mean, come ON people, do you know how frickin’ long it took us to come up with actual REAL names for our children? We had NO names for our children before they were born! The night before they were born we FINALLY came up with a list of about 20 girl names that we didn’t hate, but no actual combinations of names, and it wasn’t whittled down to, oh, you know the actual names we’d be using (in part because we didn’t know if we’d be having 1, 2, or 3 girls). And hello? We had zero, count ’em, ZERO boy names picked out. Zilch. Zippo. Nada. Niente. Nuttin’ Honey. We were blank slates praying that we didn’t have three boys the next morning because we didn’t have a single boy name, and I gotta tell you, when Baby A came out and Doc M said, “Baby Boy!” I was sweating BULLETS! Seriously! What if Baby Boy A was starting a trend! What if there were THREE of them!?

Whoops… getting off track here, and giving away the details of that elusive birth story I still haven’t written for you. See, gotta keep you guessing so you don’t stop reading. I swear I’m planning to write that someday…

Ahem. Back to the present.

The point is, I’m not witty. I’m not interesting. I’m not creative. I can’t even come up with REAL frickin’ names for my kids. I didn’t even have a name for my son until he was a week old (and hell, he was called “Hey you” until he was nearly six weeks old… but that was because he didn’t officially get his name until his bris, but AGAIN with me being off track!). So I never used aliases on this blog. I did for a while refer to Seth as “S” but I got lazy and started calling him Seth because, well, that’s his name. I do pretty consistently refer to J as, um, J. I’m better about that because he’s not legally mine… I’m his legal guardian, but not his custodial parent, so I try to be careful about that. But I get sloppy about initials, so I don’t like sticking to initials. For the triplets, initials get hard because Seth has the same initial as Sam and well, again with I’m sloppy about initials.

Mel suggested that I go back through entries and remove names to make me more comfortable with the information I’ve got out there about me, and while it isn’t the PERFECT solution, it’s a start. But WHAT TO CALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS? I can’t think of a favorite book that has FIVE FAVORITE CHARACTERS (one for Seth, and each of my four children). Same goes for a movie.

So, you, dear readers, are now charged with finding aliases for my kids and my husband. If I had twins, they could be frick and frack. But I don’t. So go forth and be witty. Be creative! Be smarter than me!

Me personally? I think I’ll stay Karen. Or maybe just Ms. Perky. But it’s not like Karen isn’t a pretty anonymous name. Do you know how many Karen’s were in my elementary school? A frick-load, that’s how many. And if you knew my middle name, you’d know there were a lot of Karen-plus-my-middle names floating around too. There were THREE of us in my graduating high school class. THREE. So I can live with my lack of anonymity with regards to my name. But as for the rest of my family? They need witty aliases. And you guys (girls?) are all WAY FUNNIER THAN ME.

So I know I’ve got lots of lurkers who rarely comment and this is your chance to shine. I don’t block anonymous comments, so please feel free to be funny! Or even to be not funny. But post something!

EDIT: Just a reminder: There are FOUR children to think of, not just the triplets. Triplets, plus J, plus husband.

Read Full Post »

There's a reason that I use real names on my blog, and I'm going to let you in on the secret. Are you ready? Are you really SURE you're ready? Are you sitting down?? Okay, here it is: I'm not witty. I am not good at coming up with aliases. I'm not creative or funny or interesting. I have a hard enough time coming up with real life things to say, let along making shit up.

I mean, come ON people, do you know how frickin' long it took us to come up with actual REAL names for our children? We had NO names for our children before they were born! The night before they were born we FINALLY came up with a list of about 20 girl names that we didn't hate, but no actual combinations of names, and it wasn't whittled down to, oh, you know the actual names we'd be using (in part because we didn't know if we'd be having 1, 2, or 3 girls). And hello? We had zero, count 'em, ZERO boy names picked out. Zilch. Zippo. Nada. Niente. Nuttin' Honey. We were blank slates praying that we didn't have three boys the next morning because we didn't have a single boy name, and I gotta tell you, when Baby A came out and Doc M said, "Baby Boy!" I was sweating BULLETS! Seriously! What if Baby Boy A was starting a trend! What if there were THREE of them!?

Whoops… getting off track here, and giving away the details of that elusive birth story I still haven't written for you. See, gotta keep you guessing so you don't stop reading. I swear I'm planning to write that someday…

Ahem. Back to the present.

The point is, I'm not witty. I'm not interesting. I'm not creative. I can't even come up with REAL frickin' names for my kids. I didn't even have a name for my son until he was a week old (and hell, he was called "Hey you" until he was nearly six weeks old… but that was because he didn't officially get his name until his bris, but AGAIN with me being off track!). So I never used aliases on this blog. I did for a while refer to Seth as "S" but I got lazy and started calling him Seth because, well, that's his name. I do pretty consistently refer to J as, um, J. I'm better about that because he's not legally mine… I'm his legal guardian, but not his custodial parent, so I try to be careful about that. But I get sloppy about initials, so I don't like sticking to initials. For the triplets, initials get hard because Seth has the same initial as Sam and well, again with I'm sloppy about initials.

Mel suggested that I go back through entries and remove names to make me more comfortable with the information I've got out there about me, and while it isn't the PERFECT solution, it's a start. But WHAT TO CALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS? I can't think of a favorite book that has FIVE FAVORITE CHARACTERS (one for Seth, and each of my four children). Same goes for a movie.

So, you, dear readers, are now charged with finding aliases for my kids and my husband. If I had twins, they could be frick and frack. But I don't. So go forth and be witty. Be creative! Be smarter than me!

Me personally? I think I'll stay Karen. Or maybe just Ms. Perky. But it's not like Karen isn't a pretty anonymous name. Do you know how many Karen's were in my elementary school? A frick-load, that's how many. And if you knew my middle name, you'd know there were a lot of Karen-plus-my-middle names floating around too. There were THREE of us in my graduating high school class. THREE. So I can live with my lack of anonymity with regards to my name. But as for the rest of my family? They need witty aliases. And you guys (girls?) are all WAY FUNNIER THAN ME.

So I know I've got lots of lurkers who rarely comment and this is your chance to shine. I don't block anonymous comments, so please feel free to be funny! Or even to be not funny. But post something!

EDIT: Just a reminder: There are FOUR children to think of, not just the triplets. Triplets, plus J, plus husband.

Read Full Post »