So this morning, when I discovered that my van keys were missing (they are still missing); I was frantic. The kids were already on their way out the door and I didn’t have time for such shenanigans. I ran around the house looking in every logical place. I looked in some illogical places (including the freezer…. don’t laugh; I’ve found them there before). I grabbed my husband’s car keys and told the girls to pile into the car. Tight fit, but better than nothing. We were about to leave, but then Abby shrieked that she’d forgotten something. I yelled at her to HURRY UP ALREADY because for Pete’s sake we were already running behind because of MY stupidity!
And then this sweet woman who was out for a walk stopped and asked “are you new in the neighborhood?” You know, right after I’d YELLED AT MY DAUGHTER to hurry it up already. “Yes, I’m new in the neighborhood. I’m so sorry. I’m having a tremendously bad morning.” She had some pleasantries for me and was possibly the nicest person I’ve met ever in my life (which is saying a LOT – I know some extremely nice people!) and she introduced herself and that’s when it hit me. She’s the Rabbi Emeritus’s wife. The Rebbetzin Emeritus. Oh. My. God. I’m standing there, frantic. Late for School. YELLING at my daughter. During the Nine Days. And The Rebbetzin walks by. And she couldn’t have been nicer.
What is WRONG with me.
I need to work on myself and set my priorities better. I really do. I need to be a better person. I need to care about the good stuff. I need to not worry about being late or who forgot something or who left their stinky socks in my bed. I need to carry myself with more composure and stop always looking like such a mess.
I will make this promise to myself. But by tomorrow morning I will have made a mess of my morning again. Maybe this time I can keep the promise an extra day. Thursday is a good goal. Right?
Ha. I’m glad you felt supported and grounded by a chance meeting with a nice person. We all need that so much! Yeah, it’s easy to resolve to be “better”…but life happens. It’s about recognizing the patterns I think…..when does that feeling of being out of control take over? And keys….ugh. I am perpetually missing my keys or my phone. I will learn to put them down in the same place one day…but I don’t know when!
What is wrong with you? Nothing. You are completely normal. What is right with you is your decision to try not to repeat this morning. I hope your mornings in the future are better. But if they’re not, please don’t beat yourself up. Tomorrow is always another day.