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Unimaginable

My nanny, M, is the best nanny I could ask for. I’m sure there are nannies out there with more years of experience or more twin/triplet experience or whatnot, but there isn’t anyone else in the world who would love my children as much as she does. Every night when she leaves, she looks sorry to go. Every morning when she arrives, she says, “Good morning, Sammy, I missed you! Good morning, Ellie, I missed you! Good morning Abby, I missed you, too!”

On Monday mornings she comes into their room and eagerly picks them up and asks, “So what did I miss? What are they doing that’s new?”

She never asks me for anything, ever, but she was so excited when I bought her some children’s books in French (her native language) and eagerly said that yes, she would love to have more if I ordered more. She loves to read to the babies, she holds them all day long – never putting them down except to play. She enjoys their milestones as much as we do.

People are surprised that I hired someone who didn’t have previous twin/triplet experience, but I realized when I hired her that I didn’t have any triplet experience before I had my triplets, but I figured it out, right? She clearly loved babies and children and that’s what mattered to me. I’m glad THAT was my priority when I hired her, because she has turned out to be perfect.

M is from Senegal, but was born and raised in Paris. Her father and one brother is still in Paris. Another brother is in Italy and yet another brother is in Spain. Until recently, she was living nearby sharing an apartment with her sister. But about three weeks ago, her sister got married and moved to Canada to be with her new husband, leaving M alone here. On Tuesday, I suggested to M that if she’d like to, she could have the week of Passover off and she said that she didn’t want to take the time off because she would be bored by herself. I asked if she had any friends in the area and she said not many. “My sister is my best friend and she moved away.”

So I suggested that she go see her sister that week. M said she would think about it, and would get back to me. No problem, I said. Seth and I both have that week off and though Seth will be out of town for part of the week, I can handle it – she should go see her sister if she can. M was still hesitant but she said she would speak with her sister and let me know. Apparently she spoke with her sister on Wednesday and they thought maybe her sister would come down here to visit M that week, but they would talk about it more on Friday (today).

M never got to have that talk with her sister today because her sister was in a fatal car accident yesterday. She died last night and M got the news of her death this morning. I was already on my way home when I heard the news, so I got home as quickly as I could (no sense having another accident). M is absolutely shattered, as you can imagine. They are moving her sister to Senegal tomorrow, and I told her we’d help her go, but she says she doesn’t want to go. “I don’t want to see that. She was my only friend. I can’t see that.” She says she’ll be back on Monday. “The babies are the only thing that will make me feel better. I want to be here with them.” She went home today to go pray for her sister. I hope that she’ll change her mind about going to Senegal to be with her family – she has no one here at all and her sister was her whole world.

I don’t even know her sister’s name, which seems odd to me, but I realize I haven’t known M that long – only about two and a half months – yet I love her so much because she loves my babies like her own (but not in a creepy way). And now she’s hurting more than I can possibly imagine and I can’t do anything for her other than pray, I suppose. M’s sister’s husband is still in a coma. I’m honestly not certain whether it would be more tragic for him to wake up and find his wife gone, or for him to never wake up, so I will simply pray for the RIGHT outcome for him, whatever that may be.

I have the best nanny in the world, and now she is suffering unimaginable pain. I wish there were something I could do for her.

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Unimaginable

My nanny, M, is the best nanny I could ask for. I'm sure there are nannies out there with more years of experience or more twin/triplet experience or whatnot, but there isn't anyone else in the world who would love my children as much as she does. Every night when she leaves, she looks sorry to go. Every morning when she arrives, she says, "Good morning, Sammy, I missed you! Good morning, Ellie, I missed you! Good morning Abby, I missed you, too!"

On Monday mornings she comes into their room and eagerly picks them up and asks, "So what did I miss? What are they doing that's new?"

She never asks me for anything, ever, but she was so excited when I bought her some children's books in French (her native language) and eagerly said that yes, she would love to have more if I ordered more. She loves to read to the babies, she holds them all day long – never putting them down except to play. She enjoys their milestones as much as we do.

People are surprised that I hired someone who didn't have previous twin/triplet experience, but I realized when I hired her that I didn't have any triplet experience before I had my triplets, but I figured it out, right? She clearly loved babies and children and that's what mattered to me. I'm glad THAT was my priority when I hired her, because she has turned out to be perfect.

M is from Senegal, but was born and raised in Paris. Her father and one brother is still in Paris. Another brother is in Italy and yet another brother is in Spain. Until recently, she was living nearby sharing an apartment with her sister. But about three weeks ago, her sister got married and moved to Canada to be with her new husband, leaving M alone here. On Tuesday, I suggested to M that if she'd like to, she could have the week of Passover off and she said that she didn't want to take the time off because she would be bored by herself. I asked if she had any friends in the area and she said not many. "My sister is my best friend and she moved away."

So I suggested that she go see her sister that week. M said she would think about it, and would get back to me. No problem, I said. Seth and I both have that week off and though Seth will be out of town for part of the week, I can handle it – she should go see her sister if she can. M was still hesitant but she said she would speak with her sister and let me know. Apparently she spoke with her sister on Wednesday and they thought maybe her sister would come down here to visit M that week, but they would talk about it more on Friday (today).

M never got to have that talk with her sister today because her sister was in a fatal car accident yesterday. She died last night and M got the news of her death this morning. I was already on my way home when I heard the news, so I got home as quickly as I could (no sense having another accident). M is absolutely shattered, as you can imagine. They are moving her sister to Senegal tomorrow, and I told her we'd help her go, but she says she doesn't want to go. "I don't want to see that. She was my only friend. I can't see that." She says she'll be back on Monday. "The babies are the only thing that will make me feel better. I want to be here with them." She went home today to go pray for her sister. I hope that she'll change her mind about going to Senegal to be with her family – she has no one here at all and her sister was her whole world.

I don't even know her sister's name, which seems odd to me, but I realize I haven't known M that long – only about two and a half months – yet I love her so much because she loves my babies like her own (but not in a creepy way). And now she's hurting more than I can possibly imagine and I can't do anything for her other than pray, I suppose. M's sister's husband is still in a coma. I'm honestly not certain whether it would be more tragic for him to wake up and find his wife gone, or for him to never wake up, so I will simply pray for the RIGHT outcome for him, whatever that may be.

I have the best nanny in the world, and now she is suffering unimaginable pain. I wish there were something I could do for her.

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I do so hate leaving my babies behind each morning, but my nanny makes it so much easier. Because seriously, do you know what my wondermous nanny said to me this morning when I asked her how her weekend was?? She said, “I missed the babies!”

I love her!

(this is my 250th post. I’m a total slacker. With 3 months on bed rest you’d think I’d have written a helluva lot more than that. Bad Blogger. Bad Blogger!)

Edited to Add: Just to clarify, I do not have guilt about working and leaving my children with a nanny. I am sad to leave my babies. I miss my children during the day. I wish I could spend the day with them every day. But I don’t feel guilty about it. Guilt is born from knowing you’re doing something wrong and I know I’m not doing anything wrong. I am doing what I have to do to provide for my family in the best way possible.

I receive a lot of caring, supportive anonymous comments, so I won’t turn off anonymous commenting or move to a password-protected blog as some others have suggested. Nor will I delete offensive anonymous comments, because all the comments I get are a part of my blogging history and deserve to be preserved. But I would like to encourage my readers who don’t have a blog account to leave comments using blogger’s “nickname” feature. You don’t have to use your real name or initials, just a consistent one. That way, I know you’re a person who cares and not some meaningless troll like this insensitive pig who found his or her way into my blog today.

Read Full Post »

I do so hate leaving my babies behind each morning, but my nanny makes it so much easier. Because seriously, do you know what my wondermous nanny said to me this morning when I asked her how her weekend was?? She said, "I missed the babies!"

I love her!

(this is my 250th post. I'm a total slacker. With 3 months on bed rest you'd think I'd have written a helluva lot more than that. Bad Blogger. Bad Blogger!)

Edited to Add: Just to clarify, I do not have guilt about working and leaving my children with a nanny. I am sad to leave my babies. I miss my children during the day. I wish I could spend the day with them every day. But I don't feel guilty about it. Guilt is born from knowing you're doing something wrong and I know I'm not doing anything wrong. I am doing what I have to do to provide for my family in the best way possible.

I receive a lot of caring, supportive anonymous comments, so I won't turn off anonymous commenting or move to a password-protected blog as some others have suggested. Nor will I delete offensive anonymous comments, because all the comments I get are a part of my blogging history and deserve to be preserved. But I would like to encourage my readers who don't have a blog account to leave comments using blogger's "nickname" feature. You don't have to use your real name or initials, just a consistent one. That way, I know you're a person who cares and not some meaningless troll like this insensitive pig who found his or her way into my blog today.

Read Full Post »