ChezPerky

The problem with hyperemesis gravidarum is that there isn’t a really good and consistent way to treat it.

Okay, I’m lying.  The problem with HG is that it sucks, plain and simple.

The other problem with HG is that there isn’t a really good and consistent way to treat it.   You start with oral medications like phenergan or compazine, then ondansetron.  Maybe try some vitamin B-6.  My doctor even suggested Unisom (which is an antihistamine – doxylamine succinate, I think).  The problem with each of these options is that they require you to be able to tolerate oral medications.  The ondansetron (Zofran) comes in oral disintegrating tablets, so you don’t actually have to swallow them, but there are two problems with them – you have to be able to tolerate the taste of them, and they’ve got aspartame in them – so if you’re like me and aspartame causes migraines… well, it’s not a great option.  Take the anti-emetic, get a migraine, throw up from the pain.  Good times.

Oral medications aren’t working?  Still losing weight?  Can’t keep fluid down?  Go to the ER for IV fluids and IV Zofran and/or phenergan.  That’ll hold you for a couple days.  Maybe it will even break the cycle.  You might also have the joy of having snarky ER doctors tell you that part of why you can’t put food in your stomach is because you haven’t put any food in your stomach.   Gosh, if you just eat, you’ll be able to eat!  Makes total sense.  Except, it doesn’t, because the lack of eating isn’t for lack of trying.

So multiple ER visits for rehydration don’t work, and the next step is inpatient hospitalization for IV hydration, IV antiemetics, etc.  Sometimes even just having the time to not be moving around helps.  And while I was in the hospital – it’s true, I felt reasonably okayish since I was very still, not eating, getting lots of fluid and antiemetics.  But I still wasn’t really able to tolerate food or much oral fluid.  Meanwhile, I was missing my first week of work.  Indefinite time inpatient is not an ideal answer for treating HG.

The biggest danger in patients with HG is dehydration.   Also nutritional deficiency, but let’s face it, I’ve got “reserves”, if you will, so malnutrition isn’t the biggest issue for me.  (I will note that I did, and possibly do, have nutritional deficiencies in my labwork – it just was the least of my problems at the time).    But dehydration is not so great for anyone, let alone someone who is pregnant.  Later in pregnancy, dehydration can actually trigger contractions – not a great thing for a chick with a history of early onset preterm labor (even for a triplet pregnancy, I started contracting extremely early last time – so although this is a singleton, I *am* at risk for having PTL again).

And so – while I was in the hospital, I had a PICC line put in.  A PICC line is a central catheter inserted through a vein in the arm threaded through to the vena cava.  A PICC line is useful because it gives long-term access (a regular IV has to be changed every 3-5 days), and can be used for TPN (total parenteral nutrition) if necessary (a regular IV line can be used for PPN but not TPN).    Having the PICC line enables me to get home IV fluids and I also run my Zofran pump through it.  This way, I can be treated as an outpatient, instead of staying inpatient indefinitely.  A good thing, right?  Of course right.  And at the rate I’m going… TPN may not be out of the question in a couple weeks anyway.

I am against TPN.  I lost so much weight in my last pregnancy, couldn’t eat much of anything, and no one batted an eyelash at the perinatology practice.  This pregnancy, with my regular OB and everyone’s hysterical about a 20 pound weight loss.  I don’t really see the medical difference here, except I have only ONE baby and a FAR less high risk pregnancy than before.   I don’t mind doing TPN if it’s truly necessary, but I’m clearly not malnourished, so I don’t see a true medical necessity.  Having TPN would also mean that my Zofran pump would have to be run subcutaneously, instead of through the PICC line (they can’t run both), which would mean I’d have to lower my dose of Zofran unless they changed my PICC line to a double-lumen line.  Therefore, I see a myriad of reasons to avoid TPN if at all possible.

Which brings me, in a long, roundabout way, to the title of my post.  I’ve been doing a little bit of research on HG and have found a few things.  First, I’ve found that the treatment protocol that my doctor has used up to this point has been completely appropriate, and absolutely textbook.  Second, I’ve found that I *can* get IV phenergan – so I’ll be calling my doctor about that this week.  I can’t keep down the oral phenergan consistently, but it *does* help at night, and helps me sleep in addition to helping the nausea abate, so I’d like to be able to get that in me more consistently.

But I also learned that there’s a pretty aggressive steroid protocol that can be used and seems to have some very promising results.  I hate what steroids do to me – but I also hate what HG is doing to me, and the steroids might have the added benefit of breaking the migraine cycle I’m in right now.  That would be lovely.  (Having been unable to consistently take oral medications to prevent the migraines lately – well, you can imagine that it hasn’t been pretty).

Also, I’m probably not getting enough thiamine – so that’s something we can add to my IV fluids (I already add a multivitamin and folic acid to my IV fluids once per day), but that’s easy to fix (I’m guessing it won’t help the nausea, but it’s still important).

So I have a lot of things to talk to my doctor about this week… and my next appointment isn’t until next week.  Hrm…

I’ve also pretty much given up hiding this pregnancy from anyone other than my employer.  I’m past the first trimester, and everyone I know locally pretty much figured it out when I spent a week in the hospital.  I hate that I have no control over it.  I’m still not telling anyone how far along I am or what my due date is.  I hate the countdown that people get into.  I’m even still getting it now.  “Oh for sure you’ll be better by 12 weeks!  What?  You aren’t?  13 then!  It’s worse?  14 for SURE!…”  Frankly, I can’t handle the pressure.  I’m trying to get through each day, not each week, and I just don’t need everyone around me continuing the countdown, so I’m doing my best to avoid telling anyone my due date under any circumstances.  Other than, of course, my medical team members.

Oh, and my husband.  Him too.  Though I’m not sure he can be trusted with that information.

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I do not like this.  I get that I did this to myself.

On purpose.

But it still sucks.

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I’ve been AWOL for a while, I know. A lot has been going on and there’s just no time left for blogging. Plus, I seem to have lost my muse, so to speak. (Also? The “y” key on my laptop is bitchy right now, so it really impedes my typing to have to hit that key several times each time I need to use it. I never realized how much I use the letter “y”!)

Anywhozit.

I found a new job and I was supposed to start 10/5, but unfortunately, I was in the hospital for dehydration that entire week. While I was in the hospital, my husband got admitted for a back injury. Fortunately, he doesn’t need surgery, but he did get a bunch of epidural steroid shots – hopefully that will help resolve the problem. The poor guy could barely stand or walk. But yeah, that meant TWO of us in the hospital at the same time. We figured the kids are old enough to take care of themselves by now, right? Oh. Um, I guess not. Our mothers came to help out until Seth was released (3 days later). Whew! Disaster averted.

I did start my new job on the 13th, finally, and it’s going well, but I now can’t seem to find enough hours in the day for anything. I used to be at a job just 10 minutes from home and very close to J’s school, his doctors, and my doctors. Now I’m half an hour from home in the opposite direction, so 45-50 minutes from J’s school etc. That makes it tight if I have to be home for the nanny, or take J to any appointments. But at least I’ve got a relatively flexible schedule, so long as I get my hours in at work.

Otherwise, we’re okay, just busy. How are all of you?

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Stay at Home Mom. Work at Home Mom. Work outside of the Home Mom. Who has it the hardest? Everybody thinks their plight is the worst. Everyone in each of those categories thinks someone in the other catgories has it the easiest.

I’m sick to death of this debate.

To some extent, I’ve done each of these roles – in various capacities. None of them are easy. None of them are impossible. Each has its unique challenges, and each has its own rewards.

I remain firm in my rather unpopular position that no matter which role you hold at any given point in time, you are always a full time parent. My children are, above everything, my number one priority, and they know it. I work extremely hard in the job that sends home a paycheck, and I work twice as hard at my full time job as a parent.

I’m tired of hearing how much harder SAHMs have it. I’m tired of hearing how much harder working moms have it. The fact is that being a parent (Mom or Dad, these days, not just mom, thankyouverymuch… my husband works just as hard at this parenting thing as I do… mostly) these days is a challenging.

We all love our children. We all want the best for our children. We want the best schools. The best activities. The best healthcare. The best therapists, when necessary. The best friends. The best clothes. The best toys. The best everything.

When you’re a stay at home mom, especially with more than one child, but even with one at a time, you have to carefully plan how you’ll do the simplest task. How you’ll run an errand, even… will it fit around nap time? Cranky time? Lunch time? How do you get coverage for your kids if you need to schedule your own doctor’s appointment? How do you get all the housework done while you’re trying to stimulate your children all day? How do you respond to all those people with the misconception that as a stay at home mom you have “all this time on your hands”? How do you keep yourself from going mad without adult conversation, intellectual challenges, time to pursue your own interests outside the home, and so on? You worry whether you’re giving enough attention to each of your children. You worry about whether you’re stimulating your children appropriately enough. You worry about whether you’re scheduling the right kind of playdates, buying the right educational toys, cooking nutritious enough meals, or getting them outside enough. You worry. That’s what moms do.

When you’re a working mom, you have to leave your children every day. You have to figure out how to manage your schedule, find care for your children, figure out what to do when your kids are sick, when childcare fails (the nanny is sick, day care/school is closed, etc.) you have to either take off of work or find back up. When your kids have appointments, when there are school conferences, when there are field trips to chaperon, or whatever, you have to take time off of work. That means when you’re sick, you go to work instead of staying home or going to the doctor, because there’s no time left to take off. You miss out on some milestones. You know you’re under the microscope by your boss, your clients, your coworkers for the time you have to take off for your kids. You worry if you’re spending enough time with your kids. You worry if you’re putting enough hours in at work and doing your best work. You worry. That’s what moms do.

And yet, our children thrive. Our children grow, whether we’re at home or working. Whether we’re working at home or outside the home. Our children turn into little people right before our eyes. We all work to be the best parents we can be, no matter what challenges we face in our day-to-day lives.

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