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quickie post

I never know what to do with helpful comments that I can't respond directly to… when I have neither an email address nor a blog link to go by. Responding within the comments seems a bit useless, since blogger doesn't do threaded comments… and since I assume people aren't eagerly checking back in my comments to see if I've responded. This is why I do a lot of responding directly via email. But in this case, I received a good comment from Crystal that I'd like to respond to, so I'll do it here. She wrote:

I haven't read back in your archives yet, but I wanted to offer some suggestions on treating your migraines and nausea. Hopefully I'm not suggesting something you've tried already! I recently got desperate for a natural migraine treatment because I am breastfeeding. I found a tip on kellymom.com about snorting a few grains of cayenne pepper. Like I said, I was desperate and I figured it couldn't hurt. So I tried it and it actually helped! It left me with a dull headache, which was a whole lot better than a migraine!

A friend of mine recently got some wrist bands (called Sea Bands, I believe) that have a small ball that touches a pressure point to help with nausea. Up until she bought the bands, she had tried every other natural remedy and was still puking. So, that is something you could try. It can't hurt!

Kellymom, as usual, is right on with the suggestion to snort a few grains of cayenne pepper. The capsaicin dilates blood vessels. Since migraines are a vascular headache, this makes a lot of sense. In fact, one of the major migraine studies underway right now involves capsaicin treatment in nasal spray form. Frankly, I don't think it's necessary to run a study about this, as there are already capsaicin nasal sprays out there that work for a lot of people. See, for example, http://www.sinusbuster.us/products_hf.html One of their products is a nasal spray for headaches that includes capsaicin, peppermint oil, and feverfew. Peppermit oil also dilates the blood vessels and feverfew is a pretty popular herbal remedy for migraines (though I never found that it helped me). The problem for me, however, is that both capsaicin and peppermint are serious migraine triggers for me. And while it's known that the sinus buster product can actually exacerbate migraines for a few days but is supposed to improve over time, I find that it just causes me more intense migaines. I'm just lucky.

I've been getting migraines for almost thirty years (I'm 31 now). I am never, ever opposed to people suggesting remedies, even if I've tried them before, because some of the things that HAVE worked for me in the past have come from people who have said, "I'm sure you've already tried this and I'm sure you're tired of suggestions, but XYZ worked for my buddy." A lot of things work for me for a short time and then cease working. Other things work, but the side effects prove too great. Some things don't work the first time I try it, but work years later. So bring on the migraine suggestions. Yes, odds are good that I've tried it, but you never know.

As for the Sea Bands, that's a good suggestion. In fact, I've gotten them for other pregnant friends before, but haven't actually tried them myself this time. I get a bit weird about my nausea, because I KNOW it could be worse and hey… most pregnant women get nausea, so it's normal, right? And Zofran really does work, it's just that when I first wake up in the morning, the Zofran from the day before has worn off. The advantage to the wrist bands, of course, is that I could wear them overnight. See? Folks in the blogosphere are quite smart. 🙂

In other news, my Friday of migraine-free-ness did not result in a migraine-free Saturday, but I was better equipped to cope with it having had a day to recover a bit from the relentless pain I'd been in all week. I'm not greedy. I'll take one good day. It still gives me hope that I'll have more to come. And whatever it takes to get these babies to September… if it means a few more months of relentless migraines, I'll do it. Once they're born, I'll have more options for prophylactic treatment, so my real focus is on getting to September. (That being said, I'm still talking to the neurologist on Friday to see what options I've got right now).

feeling good

Shocking, I know. What an odd kind of post to see coming from me, Mrs. Negativity herself. But here I am. Perky, even. For the first time in over a week, I woke up this morning not feeling sick, with no pounding migraine, and without feeling like I’d been run over by a truck. I feel…. dare I say it? … human! I don’t expect it to last, but golly jeepers this is awesome while it sticks around. I’m being productive. I’m motivated. I have a little (tiny) bit of energy. Finally I don’t feel like an ugly, lazy troll. I hardly know what to think, but I’m definitely not complaining!

Yesterday in the ultrasound, one of the babies was hiccuping while we were watching. It was really disturbingly cute. 🙂 Another baby kept doing flips which made it hard to get the heart rate, but s/he eventually calmed down.

I’m still a big chicken, by the way. I haven’t left my OB’s office, even though I know that’s what I should do and it’s what I want to do. I’m not good with change, is really the problem. I guess I’ll have to get over that long before the triplets get here, because boy will my life be full of changes then!

So yeah. Feeling good. Seriously! No caveats or anything! Go me!

I have a post in draft now that’s a followup to the Great Debate post, but I can’t deal with finishing it now, so you’ll all have to wait in eager anticipation. I know you can hardly stand it.

Anywhozit, my appointment at the perinatologist’s went well. Babies are all growing, though they didn’t measure anything other than the heartbeats. You can tell, though, that they’re growing. They all have plenty of amniotic fluid. The previa is still a previa, but seems to have shifted slightly, so that might be a good sign… perhaps it is going to shift completely away. Or it could stay right where it is. My cervix is long and closed, which was the real key. I wasn’t having any more of the maybe-contractions by the time I got to the office. But since everything else looked great, they weren’t too worried, but did give me a stern talking-to about taking it easy and not overdoing it. (I’m positive that I overdid things a bit yesterday, which is probably what started the whole mess in the first place) He did confirm that with the triplets, I really should be careful about brushing off contractions as “just Braxton-Hicks” because all contractions in multiple pregnancies need to be checked out as you just never know when unproductive contractions turn out to be productive ones. I almost told him that all my friends in the blogosphere had already clued me in (thanks, Jody!), but figured it wasn’t worth explaining.

The doctor was far more alarmed with the state of my migraines. It was quite a relief to have someone actually take me seriously about them, to be honest. I know that it seems like it can’t be that hard to deal with bad headaches, but migraines aren’t just bad headaches. They affect my vision. They affect my ability to eat. They affect my ability to stand up straight. They affect my ability to function. They affect my ability to sleep soundly. And being in constant pain puts a lot of stress on your body. It’s really no good all around. And they’ve only been getting worse and more frequent. Honestly, I was getting 4-5 per week before I got pregnant because I’d stopped taking anything prophylactically, so I didn’t think it could GET much worse, but I was very, very wrong. I kept hoping that I’d be one of the lucky ones who doesn’t get migraines when I’m pregnant, but I’m one of the other kind of “lucky” ones whose migraines get worse during pregnancy. Whoopie.

Anywho, I told Dr. G. that I have an appointment with a neurologist next week but wanted to know what options I can consider discussing with the neurologist. He suggested for pain to try fioricet with codeine instead of tylenol with codeine. It could work, but fioricet hasn’t worked for me for years. Then again, years ago I wasn’t pregnant, so who knows what will work now. Prophylactically, however, he said taking a calcium channel blocker (like nifedipine as Jody suggested) is perfectly reasonable. He said it would have added benefits as they often use calcium channel blockers in pregnancy to treat pregnancy-induced-hypertension (which I don’t have…. yet) and to calm uterine contractions. So all bonuses. He also said that if the neurologist wanted to call them to discuss things further, they’d be happy to work together to figure it out. This is all good.

I took calcium channel blockers some time ago (most of a decade ago). They weren’t perfect, and didn’t help enough at the time, but at this point, I’d be happy with even the tiniest bit of relief. And there are other calcium channel blockers I can try (the only one I remember taking was verapamil), so a different one may work a little better. The two drugs that I know do the best job are just not options right now… even if I got the okay from the doctor, I’m not comfortable taking them with the possible risks involved. I’m hoping the neurologist has a few good ideas for pain relief and is willing to try out nifedipine. I’m also hoping he’s not scared off by the whole triplet-pregnancy thing. (My previous neurologist basically told me that so long as I’m trying to get pregnant he won’t touch me… now that I’m pregnant, I’m sure his feelings won’t have changed… so I’m back to a neurologist I used years ago who is geographically less convenient, but an excellent doctor, even if he is an elitist snob.)

Beyond that… there’s not much to report from today’s appointment. The doctor is hoping that when I get further into the second trimester I’ll start feeling a bit better. So am I, but I’m not holding out that much hope. After about a week zofran-free, I’m back to being in nauseated hell. I literally threw up in the sink this morning. Lovely, I know. I have lots of weird pains and things are definitely shifting around. I’m sure most of the weird pains are the ligaments streching from the “ginormously expanding uterus” (thanks for that turn of phrase, Jody!). I’m not worried about the pains… I just didn’t expect them this early.

And oh yeah… I’ll start taking belly pics at some point (My husband laughs at me every time I suggest it, and I can’t seem to twist around properly to get a profile shot by myself in the mirror)… though I don’t guarantee I’ll post them. But all of your urging has convinced me that there’s the slightest possibility that I’ll regret it if I don’t. And that’s all the news from Lake Wo– oh, uh, wrong reference. Er. Right. That’s all the news I’ve got for the moment.

feeling good

Shocking, I know. What an odd kind of post to see coming from me, Mrs. Negativity herself. But here I am. Perky, even. For the first time in over a week, I woke up this morning not feeling sick, with no pounding migraine, and without feeling like I'd been run over by a truck. I feel…. dare I say it? … human! I don't expect it to last, but golly jeepers this is awesome while it sticks around. I'm being productive. I'm motivated. I have a little (tiny) bit of energy. Finally I don't feel like an ugly, lazy troll. I hardly know what to think, but I'm definitely not complaining!

Yesterday in the ultrasound, one of the babies was hiccuping while we were watching. It was really disturbingly cute. 🙂 Another baby kept doing flips which made it hard to get the heart rate, but s/he eventually calmed down.

I'm still a big chicken, by the way. I haven't left my OB's office, even though I know that's what I should do and it's what I want to do. I'm not good with change, is really the problem. I guess I'll have to get over that long before the triplets get here, because boy will my life be full of changes then!

So yeah. Feeling good. Seriously! No caveats or anything! Go me!

I have a post in draft now that's a followup to the Great Debate post, but I can't deal with finishing it now, so you'll all have to wait in eager anticipation. I know you can hardly stand it.

Anywhozit, my appointment at the perinatologist's went well. Babies are all growing, though they didn't measure anything other than the heartbeats. You can tell, though, that they're growing. They all have plenty of amniotic fluid. The previa is still a previa, but seems to have shifted slightly, so that might be a good sign… perhaps it is going to shift completely away. Or it could stay right where it is. My cervix is long and closed, which was the real key. I wasn't having any more of the maybe-contractions by the time I got to the office. But since everything else looked great, they weren't too worried, but did give me a stern talking-to about taking it easy and not overdoing it. (I'm positive that I overdid things a bit yesterday, which is probably what started the whole mess in the first place) He did confirm that with the triplets, I really should be careful about brushing off contractions as "just Braxton-Hicks" because all contractions in multiple pregnancies need to be checked out as you just never know when unproductive contractions turn out to be productive ones. I almost told him that all my friends in the blogosphere had already clued me in (thanks, Jody!), but figured it wasn't worth explaining.

The doctor was far more alarmed with the state of my migraines. It was quite a relief to have someone actually take me seriously about them, to be honest. I know that it seems like it can't be that hard to deal with bad headaches, but migraines aren't just bad headaches. They affect my vision. They affect my ability to eat. They affect my ability to stand up straight. They affect my ability to function. They affect my ability to sleep soundly. And being in constant pain puts a lot of stress on your body. It's really no good all around. And they've only been getting worse and more frequent. Honestly, I was getting 4-5 per week before I got pregnant because I'd stopped taking anything prophylactically, so I didn't think it could GET much worse, but I was very, very wrong. I kept hoping that I'd be one of the lucky ones who doesn't get migraines when I'm pregnant, but I'm one of the other kind of "lucky" ones whose migraines get worse during pregnancy. Whoopie.

Anywho, I told Dr. G. that I have an appointment with a neurologist next week but wanted to know what options I can consider discussing with the neurologist. He suggested for pain to try fioricet with codeine instead of tylenol with codeine. It could work, but fioricet hasn't worked for me for years. Then again, years ago I wasn't pregnant, so who knows what will work now. Prophylactically, however, he said taking a calcium channel blocker (like nifedipine as Jody suggested) is perfectly reasonable. He said it would have added benefits as they often use calcium channel blockers in pregnancy to treat pregnancy-induced-hypertension (which I don't have…. yet) and to calm uterine contractions. So all bonuses. He also said that if the neurologist wanted to call them to discuss things further, they'd be happy to work together to figure it out. This is all good.

I took calcium channel blockers some time ago (most of a decade ago). They weren't perfect, and didn't help enough at the time, but at this point, I'd be happy with even the tiniest bit of relief. And there are other calcium channel blockers I can try (the only one I remember taking was verapamil), so a different one may work a little better. The two drugs that I know do the best job are just not options right now… even if I got the okay from the doctor, I'm not comfortable taking them with the possible risks involved. I'm hoping the neurologist has a few good ideas for pain relief and is willing to try out nifedipine. I'm also hoping he's not scared off by the whole triplet-pregnancy thing. (My previous neurologist basically told me that so long as I'm trying to get pregnant he won't touch me… now that I'm pregnant, I'm sure his feelings won't have changed… so I'm back to a neurologist I used years ago who is geographically less convenient, but an excellent doctor, even if he is an elitist snob.)

Beyond that… there's not much to report from today's appointment. The doctor is hoping that when I get further into the second trimester I'll start feeling a bit better. So am I, but I'm not holding out that much hope. After about a week zofran-free, I'm back to being in nauseated hell. I literally threw up in the sink this morning. Lovely, I know. I have lots of weird pains and things are definitely shifting around. I'm sure most of the weird pains are the ligaments streching from the "ginormously expanding uterus" (thanks for that turn of phrase, Jody!). I'm not worried about the pains… I just didn't expect them this early.

And oh yeah… I'll start taking belly pics at some point (My husband laughs at me every time I suggest it, and I can't seem to twist around properly to get a profile shot by myself in the mirror)… though I don't guarantee I'll post them. But all of your urging has convinced me that there's the slightest possibility that I'll regret it if I don't. And that's all the news from Lake Wo– oh, uh, wrong reference. Er. Right. That's all the news I've got for the moment.

Strange Sensation

I kept waking up last night with this tightness and pain (discomfort really, not serious pain) in my lower abdomen. It was extremely unpleasant. I feel like I’m not really far enough along for this to be contractions, but if I were a few weeks further, that’s exactly what I would have thought it was. But now that I’ve talked to several friends who’ve been through several pregnancies, I’m pretty sure that it really IS Braxton-Hicks contractions. Isn’t it way too early for this? (I’m 15w, 1d) It’s still happening now. Bleh.

I have a perinatology appointment this afternoon, so I guess I’ll find out then if I’m a crazy alarmist or just seriously in tune with my body. Hah. I’m voting for alarmist, how about you?

Strange Sensation

I kept waking up last night with this tightness and pain (discomfort really, not serious pain) in my lower abdomen. It was extremely unpleasant. I feel like I'm not really far enough along for this to be contractions, but if I were a few weeks further, that's exactly what I would have thought it was. But now that I've talked to several friends who've been through several pregnancies, I'm pretty sure that it really IS Braxton-Hicks contractions. Isn't it way too early for this? (I'm 15w, 1d) It's still happening now. Bleh.

I have a perinatology appointment this afternoon, so I guess I'll find out then if I'm a crazy alarmist or just seriously in tune with my body. Hah. I'm voting for alarmist, how about you?

Sour-puss no more?

I still feel like hell, but I feel badly for being so negative earlier today. I was in a whole lot of pain. I still am, but at least I’ve had all day to get used to it at this point. Also, I now have heartburn, which goes really well with the nausea. Seriously. At least Tums have calcium. I need calcium, right? Does a body good and all that? (considering I’m lactose intolerant and too many green-leafies can exacerbate kidney stones and every time I’ve taken a calcium supplement regularly I’ve gotten kidney stones more regularly than usual… I can definitely use extra calcium occasionally)

Anywhozit, I totally know that this is all going to be worth it. I didn’t expect it to be easy, and I knew that when I made a conscious decision to carry all three. I know I will love my babies no matter what it takes to get far enough to meet them. I’m very excited about the pregnancy, and it’s neat to see things changing. I wish I were a little more awake and in a little less pain so I could marvel a bit more at how my life is already evolving, but it’s okay. I also wish I had the energy to get my house ORGANIZED. (It’s not terrible now, but it’s not ready for triplets, that’s for sure)

Someone asked if I’m ever going to post a picture of my, uh, “progress”. Presumably meaning my ever-expanding belly. The answer is it’s not likely. I mean, if I’d been as teeney as Suz (who is pregnant with QUADS!) when this all started, I’d have belly shots all over the place by now. But you know. I’m all self-conscious about photos. So I expect at some point I’ll take one, but not for a while. And who knows if it’ll get posted. I guess I’m afraid that it’s just in my head that I look pregnant. (I do, though, seriously, this belly out in front of me is just not natural!) I’m afraid I’ll see a picture and realize that it’s really just that I’m fat, which is hysterical, because I’m down 30 pounds from last summer (I lost 19 in my last pregnancy, gained a couple back after the miscarriage, and lost another 15 at the start of this pregnancy and haven’t gained an ounce since), so I should be thinking how great I look!

I am stupid so I watched some show on the Discovery Health channel about babies. All these high-risk pregnancy delivery. What in heaven’s name was I thinking?? AM I CRAZY? I didn’t think anything of it, because I’m just not usually affected by people’s horror stories. And it wasn’t the things that went wrong that scared me. But I realized that all those women who delivered their babies via c-section… especially the ones that were 36 weekers (which I won’t make it to)… none of them got to hold their babies. Not one of them. I mean, it was for good reason. The babies needed immediate care, rather than cuddling by mama, but… I mean… None of them got to hold their babies.

Honestly, not getting to hold my baby when I deliver isn’t the worst thing on the planet, as long as they’re as healthy as can be expected or hoped for. What’s worse is these dreams I’ve been having. I haven’t told you about the dreams because I feel like a big baby for even having them. But I keep having very vivid dreams that they’ve all died. Sometimes it’s that they’ve died before I get to my next doctor’s appointment (on the 17th… can’t come soon enough at this point). Sometimes it’s that they die right before delivery. The worst is when I dream they deliver, but die within a few days. How horrible am I? Every night for a week or so, this is what I’ve been dreaming. I had a teacher in high school who was pregnant with triplets and lost one about mid-way through her pregnancy while she was on hospital bedrest. Her twins are healthy and beautiful and Seniors in High School now (holy cow, I’m old), but I can only imagine the loss she must have felt (perhaps still feels). I think of her often.

Gah. I was supposed to stop being negative. But actually, somehow even the DBTs (dead baby thoughts) don’t feel so negative to me. Because you know… it means that I’m rather attached to my tiny little parasites, and I can’t imagine that attachment is a bad thing. Even if it intensifies my fear. Deep down, I really believe everything’s going to be okay. Deep down I really believe they’ll be here in September. Deep down, I know that no matter what happens, we’ll work through it. That’s progress.

Today was the first day in which I went to work but just couldn’t make it through the day. My husband took one look at me this morning and said, “so you’re staying home?” No, I had too much work to do. So off I went. I didn’t finish that work, though I did bring it home. I have no idea if I’ll accomplish any of it from home. I pushed myself too far with the work that I did accomplish, and deadlines be damned, I just can’t do it right now.

The nausea, which had abated for a week or so, is back in full force. I’m in pain just about everywhere, which makes me cranky and generally yucky feeling. I think I might have (another) UTI (what is WITH this??). And I have this pulsating pain in my lower left flank and every time it flares (about once every 2 minutes) I feel like I’m going to be violently ill for a few seconds before it passes. It’s completely stupid. I feel far too whiny and annoying and I hate it when I’m like this. I know that this miracle of a pregnancy is something to be embraced and enjoyed and I really want to do that. But I want to cry more than I want to embrace anything.

I am now unmistakeably pregnant looking, which makes me happier than I thought it would. Finally I don’t just look like I need to lay off the Ben and Jerry’s (ironically, I really don’t eat much ice cream because it makes me ill). It’s getting hard for me to move around, but at least now people can look at me and see that I’m pregnant and understand why it takes me 10 minutes to walk down the hall.

Despite all the ickiness, I mostly still don’t *feel* pregnant. I still feel like an imposter. I keep thinking someone is going to find me out and realize that I don’t actually belong in the pregnant-person-club. I wonder if that will change once I can feel the babies moving. I’m 14 weeks, 1 day and still in awe that I’ve made it this far, but terrified when I realize how much further I have to make it for this to work.

Oh heck, seriously? This post is so darned negative it’s pissing ME off and it’s MY post! Grr.

Today was the first day in which I went to work but just couldn't make it through the day. My husband took one look at me this morning and said, "so you're staying home?" No, I had too much work to do. So off I went. I didn't finish that work, though I did bring it home. I have no idea if I'll accomplish any of it from home. I pushed myself too far with the work that I did accomplish, and deadlines be damned, I just can't do it right now.

The nausea, which had abated for a week or so, is back in full force. I'm in pain just about everywhere, which makes me cranky and generally yucky feeling. I think I might have (another) UTI (what is WITH this??). And I have this pulsating pain in my lower left flank and every time it flares (about once every 2 minutes) I feel like I'm going to be violently ill for a few seconds before it passes. It's completely stupid. I feel far too whiny and annoying and I hate it when I'm like this. I know that this miracle of a pregnancy is something to be embraced and enjoyed and I really want to do that. But I want to cry more than I want to embrace anything.

I am now unmistakeably pregnant looking, which makes me happier than I thought it would. Finally I don't just look like I need to lay off the Ben and Jerry's (ironically, I really don't eat much ice cream because it makes me ill). It's getting hard for me to move around, but at least now people can look at me and see that I'm pregnant and understand why it takes me 10 minutes to walk down the hall.

Despite all the ickiness, I mostly still don't *feel* pregnant. I still feel like an imposter. I keep thinking someone is going to find me out and realize that I don't actually belong in the pregnant-person-club. I wonder if that will change once I can feel the babies moving. I'm 14 weeks, 1 day and still in awe that I've made it this far, but terrified when I realize how much further I have to make it for this to work.

Oh heck, seriously? This post is so darned negative it's pissing ME off and it's MY post! Grr.