Yes, I’m the mother of four wonderful, amazing children. Yes, I’m incredibly grateful for this. No, I have no right to be jealous of ANYONE’S children or pregnancies or anything. Not even a little bit. So how sick is it that I’m positively fuming that Michelle Duggar announced that she is pregnant with her 18th child and due on New Year’s Day?
You know what gets me the most? She’s six weeks along. No infertile myrtle would dare make national news out of a six week pregnancy… it feels like she’s just rubbing her fertility in our faces by not being even a little worried about the certainty of the outcome. Meanwhile, I’m sure she’s a perfectly lovely lady who has no malice whatsoever for infertile myrtles, but BY GOLLY this just makes me SO MAD! I mean, really! I’d have 18 kids if I could! I really would! I LOVE kids! Why does SHE get to have 18 kids and NOT ME?
ChezPerky 
I’m often on a pregnancy message board these days, and the girls (mostly non-IF) there were just like she’s crazy. I on the other hand was thinking, who on earth would share pregnancy news to the entire world so early? That and I was generally PO’d that she can accomplish this feat so easily at 41 no less.
I just posted something very similar, although not quite as eloquent as you. There may or may not have been some dropping of the f-bomb in mine 😉
Hi. I just came across your blog and just have to say that even though I have two wonderful children (via IVF), I still have that pang of jealousy when someone announces they are pregnant. I don’t know if infertility is still fresh in my mind or what, but that jealousy is still there. I think it’s just I am jealous that some can get pregnant so easy and then have such a blissful pregnancy because they aren’t thinking about all the things that could go wrong and not fearing that every little twitch was something bad.
Ugggg.
I will keep the rest of my bitchy, snarky comments to myself.
Found you because http://cartagodelenda.blogspot.com/2008/05/uncomprehending-bigotry-on-parade.html linked to a search of blogs, and you’re the first one on the list that isn’t ignorantly hateful towards this family.
Thank you.
BTW- nice kids!
I agree. While it is their decision to have this many kids, I can’t help to feel jealous that she has 18 kids, while my husband and I have been struggling with #1 for 8 years. Its unfair that some people have plenty while others starve, but its not the Duggar’s fault.
Honestly?
I’m already jealous, jealous, jealous that you are trying again so soon.
I’m green with envy.
Ok. Glad got that out.
Well, I definitely think you have the right to your feelings. Same as a paralysed man in a wheelchair might watch a marathon runner go past and say “why not me?” Or a child with dyslexia might watch his classmates read with ease and say “why not me?” or a woman living in poverty might look at her rich neighbor and say “why not me?” Things seems so arbitrary and I guess it’s hard to see the logic in it sometimes.
You are absolutely one of the most honest people I’ve come across, I gotta tell you, and it’s really refreshing. I love your blog.
has she had 18 pregnancies and 18 children??? frikking crazy.
OMG, I can hardly handle our four at the moment, I think I’d lay down on a train track if I had one more in the mix.
OK. Not really. But I think the only reason that she can cope the way that she does is because many of her children are grown and can help with the younger ones. Can you imagine having 18 children under the age of say … four?
I admit.. I am jealous as all heck! What I wouldnt give to be able to get pregnant so easy.
Gotta say, I’m not jealous of her having her 18th… I’m mostly jealous of the incredible patience she must have, her complete lack of need for sleep or for alone-time, and her ability to feel (hopefully) complete as a person just by being a full-time-mom… I couldn’t do it. OH Yeah, one last thing I’m jealous of – the house they must have…
I feel ya! (Well, except the triplet part, of course)
I actually blogged about this, too – they are just showing off at this point, aren’t they?
You already know my feelings on this. And whole not infertile, I completely feel the pain… I totally hate that she feels that she can procreate at her own free will and that it’s totally ok to have 18 kids. That probably makes NO sense. But in my little mind, it totally makes sense. And fwiw, I’d be so supportive of YOU if you had 18 kids…But you’d need to move closer. FO SHO.
Oh Karen I thought the same thing about the Duggars, 6 weeks are you kidding me! I had secondary infertility, took 3 years and a miscarriage to get my last child. That kind of thing irks me too! I hope you had a beautiful Mother’s Day!
I’m with you. I guess the thing that pangs me about it the most is being able to feel so confident in your pregnancy to announce it so publicly at 6 weeks. That’s a luxury that so many of us would never had. My sister recently announced her pregnancy at 5 weeks – literally she had just peed on the stick – I’m super thrilled for her, but I would be so scared to talk about it so early.
I never used to think that I wanted lots of kids, just a couple. But I’m loving my two so much, that now I think I’d love to have lots of them. Probably not in the cards.
Yes, my poor husband had to listen to me yell about her telling the world so early – like throwing her fertility and lack of m/c concerns in our faces!
It makes me fume, too. I’m 25 weeks and still thinking in terms of IF I get to take home healthy babies (mind you constant contracting’ll do that).
Bet everything turns out just dandy for HER though…
J
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 3 years and I have been diagnosed with PCOS and he has a zero sperm count. We have decided not to go through IVF and we may adopt. Regarding your post, I must admit that jealousy was my first thought also. Then there is the story of the mother who just delivered octuplets– that stirred a little emotion too. But, my husband and I have a phrase: favor isn’t fair. So, as much as I may have a twinge of jealousy, I also know that God does not bless everyone the same way. We should not feel too guilty for our reactions.