So, I’m not quite the six million dollar man. And I can’t say I have much in common with Lindsay Wagner (of the original “Bionic Woman“), but I’m beginning to feel like I ought to have a fancy name like that anyway. I currently have a PICC line, two infusion pumps (one that runs through the PICC line and one that is run subcutaneously), IV Fluids and medications, and a home uterine contraction monitoring system that I have to strap myself to a minimum of two hours a day (it’s usually 4-5 hours per day). Going to the bathroom is… an ordeal, to say the least. It’s so easy to get tangled up in tubing and wires, and it’s frankly too complicated sometimes to figure out what has me attached to what.
So imagine my amusement today when I went to the OB’s office and got threatened with an insulin pump. Because I didn’t have enough infusion pumps. Oh well, at least insulin pumps are small.
Here’s the thing, though: how exactly does a woman who doesn’t eat end up with gestational diabetes? HOW? My blood sugar levels have been ridiculously high. The first few days that I was checking my blood sugar 4x a day, they were a little high sometimes, but on average were basically okay, if borderline high. But after the first few days, my levels kept creeping higher. And higher. And higher. Yesterday I was at 181 at noon. I’d had IV fluids running all day, yes, but that’s (at most) about 25 calories per hour. That’s not enough to blow my sugar that high. Terbutaline can raise blood sugar, but how much? Steroids can raise blood sugar – but I haven’t had steroids in nearly a month, so that’s not what’s effecting it either.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter WHY or HOW my blood sugar is elevated. What matters is that hyperglycemia isn’t good for moms and growing babies. So whatever the cause, it has to get under control.
So my doctor has prescribed Glyburide, with the curious instruction to take one tablet every morning before breakfast. Um, before WHAT? Yeah. I told him I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep it down regularly enough to matter (though now that I have them at home, I can see it’s a TEENY TINY pill, so at least it has that going for it). So if I can’t keep the glyburide down (or it doesn’t work), I get to get an insulin pump. He also ordered labs to check my hemoglobin A1C level.
Of course, the OBs office does not coordinate an insulin pump – they’ll send me to an endocrinologist to handle that. Because I don’t have enough doctors and specialists in my life. Oh, and I get to start having weekly appointments with the OB (in addition to my appointments with the perinatologist). Because I don’t have enough appointments in my life.
Someday I’m going to write my memoir and no one will buy it because they’ll say “this chick made up every word of this! It’s too preposterous to be fact!”
ChezPerky 
Oh you poor woman. So do you have to take all your various equipment and infusions (including IV fluids) to the doctors office. I think you should walk in with a suitcase just once to demonstrate how much stuff you have on a daily basis.
Hoping that the days sort of fly by somehow. Hugs to you.
Ok, so, it actually does make sense. It helps to think of it as your body generally not metabolising glucose correctly – instead of thinking just that it doesn’t know how to store the stuff you take in orally. In diabetes, the *blood* sugar is high but the cells think they’re starving. In your case – they actually have been! So the not eating has probably helped to upset the apple cart, unfortunately, provoking your body into madly mobilising reserves, and it’s harder to get the checks and balances right with all those pregnancy hormones. Anyway, this is all still quite hand-wavy as an explanation, and as you say, it doesn’t matter how or why in any case.
Um… enjoy the pump?
Bea
Oh I feel fo ryou.
Oh I feel for you.
Oh my goodness. Apparently, you needed lessons in time management. NOT.
Here’s hoping that you are able to keep the pill down (wonder if you crushed it if that would make a difference?) and not have to go on the pump.
Alternatively, can they give you some cool powers? Cause all the tubes seem onerous without powers. Maybe all of this is a prelude to your becoming one with the Force and then you’ll be like Darth Vader, able to choke stupid people with a flick of your wrist.
(This comment brought to you by my nausea-induced crazy (as opposed to my regular kind) and the makers of Saltines (they’re doing G-D’s work)).
Seriously??? You are my hero for all that you have to go thru. I’m sure the reward at the end will be all the sweeter for the challenges you face each day.
And just think – one of these days you’ll be able to trade all those pumps in for just one – a breast pump! (if that’s what you choose).
Hang in there Super Mommy!
I am so sorry that you are adding this to all that you are going through. Soon you will have your little one on your arms.
And to think you did not have enough to stick out of ya already?! (no pun intended) What’s another stick here and there to your regimin? Sweet woman…when this pregnancy is over with it will all be worth it 🙂