I’ve been reading far too many online pregnant communities recently. I don’t know why I read them – I can nearly never relate to the posts. I don’t *have* normal pregnancies and no one else seems to understand my own experiences because I’m just not NORMAL. Here are some things I don’t get:
- Posts that go like this: “My hips really hurt which is making it difficult for me to exercise. Can anyone give me any good at-home exercises that are safe for pregnancy?” I mean, admittedly, exercise isn’t the first thing that pops into my head when I’m thinking of my top 139 favorite things to do, so I probably wouldn’t relate to this one anyway, but I’ve never been ALLOWED to exercise while pregnant, there was never any question about what I could and couldn’t do – I just wasn’t allowed.
- “I can’t eat a darned thing because I keep throwing up. Well, you know, except for how I finished my DH’s leftovers, bought a gallon of ice cream that’s now mysteriously gone(!), and, oh, right, I accidentally ate my daughter’s birthday cake before I gave it to her. But really, chicken is OUT!” I mean, sure I can relate to throwing up. Except, I can’t. It’s not a contest or anything, and I don’t wish vomiting during pregnancy on ANYONE because it’s not any fun at all. But “gosh it’s so annoying that I have to eat a saltine before I get out of bed in order to feel human” posts just… don’t resonate with me.
- “I’m 1cm dilated! OMG am I in labor? I can’t be! I’m not due until next month! I have a baby shower next week, and a photo session lined up the week after that, and a pedicure appointment for the day before my due date. I just can’t go into labor now! I mean, also, I want the baby to stay in there and get fat and healthy, too, but think about my pretty toes!” I would have given anything to have this worry with my triplets. I did really well with the triplets and got them to 33 weeks (exactly average for triplets), but we always knew I wasn’t going to be a 36/37 weeker. I figured with this pregnancy at least I wouldn’t be laying in fear of going into labor at any second… except, here I am in the hospital for preterm labor and I’ve still got three months to go. I’ll gladly trade my (nonexistent) pedicure appointment for a couple more months.
- My baby is 2 months old and I was thinking how nice it would be to have Irish twins. I think I’m ovulating, do you think I should have sex tonight and not tell my husband that I’m ovulating? I’m sure he’d flip out.” Any such post like this is completely alien to me, and I’m shocked at how many such posts there are. I mean, seriously. People PLAN these things? People have sex to get pregnant? I don’t understand. Â (there are also the “I went for my annual exam and found out I’m 14 months pregnant” posts – which, you know, I also don’t get, but I figure so few people understand those posts that I’m not alone).
I know I’m being snarky, and I *do* know this isn’t about who’s got it harder. I’m not trying to say the trials and tribulations of pregnancy are always all sunshine and roses even without all the dramarama that I get to have fun with. I don’t think that women should have to love every minute of pregnancy – and I think it’s terrible that society seems to assume that women must enjoy pregnancy or they’re not good mothers. So it’s not that I don’t think the complaints I’ve posted above are legitimate. It’s just that I really can’t relate. Really.
ChezPerky 
yes, your situation is indeed a little out of the range of normal pregnancy experience, in the same way that the iceberg that the Titanic hit was a little glitch…
But here’s the thing – imagine that you’re outside in the rain with no umbrella and your clothes are all wet. The fact that there are homeless people doesn’t actually make you feel less wet.
Life sucks that way. You’d think that if you have it less bad, then you’d enjoy the less-badness of it. But we don’t. being human stinks.
It is hard to relate to someone else who hasn’t had to fight on virtually every step to get to where they are. The other side is that they often can’t relate to us either.
oh Perky, too funny! i think those posts are hysterical.. i can only imagine how they make you feel. Your pregnancies are NOT normal, that’s for sure.. but you handle them with the best grace you can.. hang in there!
I try to console myself with the thought that people don’t think or act like they usually think or act on those boards. The checks and balances are all wrong. Unfortunately, I also can’t help thinking the checks and balances (lack of proper thereof) also tend to draw a few of those fruitloop types who have no sense of perspective whatsoever, so I always remain incompletely consoled. But (generally speaking) people in real life are a lot less irritating on average than those on the boards, so obviously there is something about the boards themselves that brings it out in people. Conclusion: get off the boards, woman. So not worth it.
Bea
YOu don’t sound snarky to me. The ones that get me are when people publicly announce that they are 4 weeks pregnant. I just cringe thinking about how hard its going to be for them when (I usually don’t think if) they miscarry. Also, all of the late pregnancy compaints and scheduling showers so late really get me too. I had my DS at 31 weeks and know absolutely nothing about what it feels like to go full term.
I just can’t handle the message boards. The ignorance and stupidity can be mind blowing. I know you are probably bored in jail, but stay away from message boards!