This has been a month full of hard news. The loss of the second twin of a member of our multiples club. The catastrophic fire in the triplet family's house. And now… something I can't even understand, and something I can hardly even write about, for I am just sick over it.
My friend Yael's 5 month old daughter died last night. She died in an accident, without warning, while Yael was at work. She was rushed to the hospital, but it was too late, and there was nothing that could be done to save her.
How can any mother ever surive the pain of such a loss? How can anyone ever explain the loss of a child? How can we explain a God who rips away a child from her mother after only 154 days together? How dare He? How could He be so cruel? I have heard all the explanations. I know that many believe that her neshama (soul) completed what she needed to complete her on earth and is now closer to Hashem (God). That she was so special that she only needed to be here briefly to touch the lives that she touched before moving closer to Hashem. I've heard it. I know that so many feel comfort in these thoughts. I know that I'm supposed to believe these things. I know that I'm supposed to hold on to these things. But all I can feel is horror at the idea that idea that there is any right or justification in ripping a child from her mother.
I held my babies close tonight. They squirmed and tried to get away, because they didn't understand. But I held them tight. I squeezed the J-man a little longer when I said good night and he asked me why and I told him it was because I love him so much and he said, "but if you always hug me so long I won't be able to breathe!" I suppose there is more wisdom in that statement than he will ever realize. Still, it was hard to let go of any of my children tonight.
If Yael's baby could be ripped from her last night with no warning, with no justification, with no reason, with no fairness – well, I can't even finish my thought. It's too horrible to even say it.
I don't even know what to think or feel. I'm angry. I'm heartbroken. I'm just… I don't even know.
I think I'll be offline for a bit. I've got a lot going on right now – the Petrucelli Relief. My own work. My own family. My class. Meetings. Appointments. Therapy for the kids (did I mention the triplets are getting speech therapy now?) Now this. I just don't have it in me to be blogging about too much right now. Don't assume that radio silence means there's anything wrong – it just means I'm swamped.
ChezPerky 
That is such incredibly devastating news. It makes me heartbroken to even hear it. I’ll be thinking of you and your friend, Yael.
Oh my. How absolutely devastating. There is nothing that can make this seem alright. Thoughts and prayers are with your friend.
that’s very sad news. i will miss you on your blog break, but you deserve it! take care and i’ll be waiting for your return.
I’m so sorry.
I couldn’t agree more there is no reason anywhere near good enough for a child to be taken from their Mother.
My thoughts and love to your friend.
Oh sweetie, Please tell your friend that I am so srry for her loss.
Hang in there, and take as much time as you need!!
Hugs,
Rebel
how heartbreaking. I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around such a thing. I’ll keep you and your friend in my prayers.
How devastating. I am so sorry for all of you, and for Yael’s family especially. I also can’t understand why such things happen.
Oh my goodness. That poor family. I don’t even know them and my heart is breaking for them.
I’ll give my little one and extra tight squeeze tonight and say a prayer for your friend.
My heart goes out to your friend and you. There are no words…
However long you need away from blogging, take it. I’ll be here ready to read when you are ready to write.
Take care of you.
My heart goes out to you and your friend and her family. It is an unimaginable loss.
Take good care of yourself and your little guys (and Seth too!).
I’ll pray for depth of wisdom for you when you talk to your friend. I’m sure she and her husband are going to hear utter ridiculousness from people. She will need you.
Will miss your posts and hope you get your head above water soon.
Best Regards.
I originally read this yesterday morning and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel so sad for this family.
My heart is broken for your friend and her family. The devastation that the loss of a child leaves behind… I’m just so very sorry.
I can’t even begin to imagine something to devastating. My prayers go out to your friend. I know I will be hugging my babies a little extra tighter tonight.
i’m so very sorry to hear this. my heart goes out to yael and her family. they’re in my prayers.
There is no sense to be made from something like this. My heart breaks for Yael, her family and everyone who knew her daughter. I am so sorry for the loss of a sweet little girl.
Oh, how awful. Take care of yourself in the midst of all this – it must be terribly overwhelming to be surrounded by so much sadness. There are times when you just can’t look for answers, you can only react to what’s coming and do your best, which you’re doing incredibly well. You and the other families will be in my prayers.
sorry, I’ve been checking your other blog but not checking this one lately. I am so sorry for your friend. I think about this often – how I would feel if I lost a child. Words don’t even begin to describe it. It’s one of the fundamental things that keeps me from have much faith in any God or religion – because how could a God let things like that happen. I’m so, so sorry for your friend.
And to you: I hope you’re hanging in there ok. I’m a little worried about you. Your last couple of posts sounded pretty overwhelmed. Are you taking on too much? Spreading yourself too thin? I know it’s hard to say no, but please do look after yourself. I’m thinking of you.
I’ll miss your blogs while you are away but I have so enjoyed them. Rest and get through the holidays while you enjoy your babies. Read you when you get back. PS I am a nanny for triplets and while they are not ‘mine’ reading your blog provides me a sense of community and I get the biggest kick out of your little ones funny and precious moments. God Bless You and Merry Christmas.