Archive for January 17th, 2010

Random Thoughts

In no particular order…

  • I really am tired of not feeling well.  I know that my eye needs to stay on the “prize” at the end of all this, but I really am just so tired of it.
  • Having three mostly-typically-developing two year olds is an experience that isn’t easy to put into words.  J never got into things at this age – he never stopped moving long enough to notice that there was a drawer he could empty, shelves he could scale, or mantles to climb.  The triplets have figured out all of these things, they learn from each other, and they work as a team.  It seems nothing is safe any longer.  Temper tantrums abound, but I could live with those.  The thing I can’t live with is the hair pulling.  Specifically, Sam and Abby (mostly Sam) seem to making a great sport out of pulling Ellie’s hair out.  Obviously, the instant I see it happening, I put a stop to it and it’s an immediate time out.  But once that tuft of hair has been pulled out, it’s not going back in – the damage is done.  So much, damage, in fact, that I no longer have to worry about Ellie’s hair falling into her eyes or her eating it because it’s in the way.  Her scalp is nearly visible on the top of her head.  Not bald, for sure, but definitely thinning.  I feel awful for her, but haven’t found a good solution.  J’s developmental pediatrician gave me a few ideas, but nothing I hadn’t already thought of.  Though he did agree that a very, very, very short haircut for Ellie might be in order until we can break the other two (mostly Sam) of this habit.  It just seems such a shame to cut her golden locks – but I don’t want her to be traumatized daily either.
  • More problems with J’s medications.  We have an appointment next week with Ye Olde Developmental Pediatrician to discuss next steps.  Seth is understandably concerned about the potential long-term effects of neuroleptics.  I am concerned about the potential long-term effect of not properly treating a child who so clearly has a need for treatment.  Both are valid concerns, I think.  Where is the happy medium?
  • We went to shul yesterday, something I avoid doing for the most part.  How do I answer the inevitable question, “How are you feeling?”  Truthfully, I feel terrible.  There’s no getting around it.  I look awful, too, so it’s not like I can just universally lie about it.  A friend saw me yesterday and asked if I’m feeling better.  Truth?  No, I feel worse, most days.  Later she came back because she’d noticed my Zofran pump.  Oh my goodness! she said, you’re wired!  Yep.  I’ve had my tether since October.  I haven’t kept any sizeable amount of food or fluid down since September.  “I didn’t realize!  I’d heard you complaining that you were sick, but I didn’t have any idea it was this bad.”  How much more clear could I have been?  I have hyperemesis, I spent a week in the hospital, I’m  not eating a thing.    But if I explain any of that, it turns out, I’m “complaining.”  I don’t mean to complain, I just don’t know how else to answer “how are you feeling.”
  • Along those lines, another friend of mine (J) noted that she’s had to explain to other people that when I say I’m not eating, I mean it.  We were both at lunch at a mutual friend of ours a couple weeks ago and the hostess said to J, “I hear Karen’s been really sick and isn’t eating much.”  J said, “no really, you have to understand.  When she says she’s not eating, she means she’s NOT eating anything.”  No one seems to get this.  How do I explain this without people assuming I’m just “complaining” about it?  People who haven’t had much in the way of pregnancy-induced-nausea/vomitting, especially those who had a very bad several weeks in the first trimester but nothing after that, just don’t get it.  I think people assume that I eat normally, but feel nauseated all the time.  I can assure you, I do not eat a normal 1500-2000 calorie diet.
  • This baby does acrobatics in my uterus.  I wish it would do acrobatics that moved it into a vertex position.  I know that there’s still plenty of time for this kiddo to move, but it sure would make me feel better, however illogical that is.
  • The progesterone injections definitely seem to help the PTL symptoms, contractions in particular.  My next injection is tomorrow (they’re weekly injections), but my contractions which were not frequent during the week, were back in full force by Saturday and aren’t much better today.
  • I am tired.  I am considering a nap.   The triplets and Seth are all napping, why shouldn’t I?

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