Archive for July 18th, 2008

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life.  I am happy with my life and all the blessings in it.  I will gladly give up ever going out and I will happily stay in every night and stare at my gorgeous, thriving, healthy babies every night.  I will willingly collapse in bed, exhausted, at the end of each day, without a single thought to going out and doing anything else with my night, or spend my evenings doing laundry, dishes, making lunches, filling out paperwork for J’s school, sweeping the floor around the highchairs, washing bottles, or making baby food.  But I’m also not a martyr, so when the opportunity comes around for me to go out and do something fun, well, I’m certainly not going to turn it down.

Every year, my friend Jo and I go to see the Indigo Girls at Wolftrap.  Except, well, last year I was in pre-term labor and less than a month away from delivering the triplets, so I had to give up my ticket, which, yes, I’d purchased in vain hope of being able to go, but … well, not so much.  ANYWAY, the point is, last night, after I fed the babies dinner, nursed them one last time, put them in PJs and tucked them into their cribs, Jo and I went went to the concert, and it was a bunch of fun, and I have pictures to prove it… except…  I can’t get them off my camera!  I got home late last night, and I tried to get them off my camera, and… nothing.  My computer won’t recognize the USB device!  And so I tried Seth’s computer, but it won’t either, so it’s clearly a problem with the camera, not the computer, but WHAT could have happened?  Gah! 

Well, no matter, I had such a good time.  We got there early enough to hang out with another couple friends who had lawn seats, have a glass of wine and some yummy strawberries, talk, listen to the opening act, and just… be.  Then we headed down to our seats in the Pavillion and, boy, did we have GOOD seats!  Yay for Jo getting us the best seats so far!  🙂 

Lately, you know, I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed.  And it’s not the babies. It’s not J. It’s not motherhood, you see.  Motherhood is perfect.  The babies are amazing.  J is awesome.  It’s the rest of my life.  It’s fitting everything ELSE in.  It’s getting everything else to revolve around the four most important things in my life that’s overwhelming.  It’s hard to explain.  And I don’t feel this way all the time, it’s cyclical (more on this in another post), but it’s suffocating when it happens.  Still, in those couple of hours, all was right with the world.  Not a single moment went by that I wasn’t thinking of my beautiful blessings tucked in at home, but that is as it should be.  I am so grateful for the ways in which they enrich my life, the way they have filled the empty corners of my soul. 

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