Feeling frustrated, whiny, overwhelmed, and unsure of myself lately. Tired of being called supermom because I’m not sure I’m living up to the expectation anymore. I’m not even sure how to write about what’s going on. I feel like I really need to buy this magnet, though:
Story of my life, the damn thing is sold out.
This week is going to be hell. H – E – Double – Hockey – Sticks – HELL.
Yesterday wasn’t so bad, just the usual, get up, feed babies, feed more babies, get dressed, change diapers, fight with J to get him dressed and ready to go, go to work (Seth took J to school), work all day, pick up J from school, go home, feed babies, while trying to make J dinner, fight with J to eat dinner, juggle three screaming babies, feed three babies again (they eat a small amount of solid food for dinner, but if I want them to actually SLEEP at night for any length of time, they also have to be nursed/have a bottle afterward… they aren’t to the point where solid food is REPLACING milk as food, they just won’t take enough in yet), put three babies to bed, try to calm J down, coordinate with Seth (who has now arrived home) to get J fed (because he wouldn’t eat when it was just me juggling all four kids), coordinate with babysitter to get her to my house (she’s now called four times for directions), skip board meeting I’m supposed to be at because J is going ape-shit and I can’t leave him with babysitter for that long, run two errands closer to home than board meeting, come home, fight with J to get him into bed, check email, do some work, pump milk, make bottles for nanny tomorrow, find preemie clothes for friend who just delivered triplets, make sure all preemie clothes are labeled with my name, re-pack preemie clothes into box, put box in Seth’s car (she delivered at the hospital where he works), feed a baby who woke up, wash bottle, collapse in bed kind of day. You know, that kind of day, not too bad.
Tonight my friend Connie was going to come over after the triplets’ bedtime to watch J so Seth and I could relax and go to a movie for the first time in over a year. Not like Connie doesn’t have enough to do on her own, seeing as how she’s got TRIPLETS OF HER OWN. But she’s awesome, and she offered, and she repeated the offer, and then she repeated it again, so I figured she was serious, and we took her up on it. But then as I was thinking of the week ahead, I realized how stressed out I was getting over the logistics of going out tonight that I told her tonight wasn’t a good night for it. Because, really? If I’m getting more stressed out over a relaxing night out than staying in… it kind of defeats the purpose right?
I’m almost out of baby food in my freezer, which would be fine, because it’s easy enough to whip up a few batches of baby food, except that it’s impossible to do that if you have no ingredients with which to do so in your house. Whoops. So I need to buy chicken and fruit and vegetables. But WHEN? HOW? I was supposed to do that yesterday, but couldn’t because there was no time after I picked up J without being late for relieving the nanny. Then, in theory, I was supposed to go to a board meeting, though I ended up bailing on that anyway, but grocery shopping didn’t happen either because there was too much else going on and J couldn’t be left with the babysitter for too long because he’s just been completely crazy lately. You’d think something as simple as grocery shopping would be easy, wouldn’t you? Hah!
Tomorrow, Seth is leaving for Texas at 5pm, which means he won’t be home after work. Fortunately, my mother is picking J up from school, which buys me a little bit of time, but this means I have to get home, feed babies, clean them up, get J dinner (oh wait, my mother will probably feed J, phew!), feed babies again (see aforementioned note re: solids vs. milk at dinner time), get babies to bed, get J calmed down for bed, get J INTO bed, get J’s lunch made for school the next day (do we even HAVE food in the house for his lunch??), pump, make bottles for the nanny, sleep?, get up with whatever babies wake up in the middle of the night (usually Sam and Abby, hopefully just Abby), and then get up in the morning, feed three babies, get showered (hah!), dressed, get J dressed (this is ALWAYS a fight), get J off to school (once the nanny arrives), get to work and breathe for a minute.
Then Thursday afternoon, I have to leave work early, pick up Sam, take him to the ophthalmologist (and I have to remember to pack some snacks for me and for him, because this appointment could take up to two hours, hooray!). My MIL is picking J up from school, thankfully, so that takes one thing off my plate. I have to rush home from the ophthalmologist to relieve the nanny (I’ll probably be late, but the nanny already knows that. Feed babies. Clean them up. Feed them milk. Change them, get them in PJs, put them to bed. Feed J, bathe him (hey, I forgot that part the last two nights, didn’t I?), get him in PJs, fight with him about bed, pray that he goes to bed, explain to him that YES Abba WILL be home by the time he wakes up! and hopefully he’ll go to sleep at some point.
Then I get to start making dinner for Friday night (and WHEN exactly did I go grocery shopping for Friday’s dinner?), I’ll have to pump, do some straightening so that my cleaning lady (yes, I’m a spoiled brat and I have a cleaning lady) can actually CLEAN
when she arrives on Friday, make bottles for the nanny the next day, probably have to feed Abby at some point (she usually wakes up around 10 or 11pm), and go to bed. Seth’s plane arrives after midnight, so I don’t expect him home until 1am-ish and I have no intention of waiting up for him.
Friday J has an appointment with a developmental pediatrician, so at least we don’t have to be prepared to take him to school first thing in the morning. And at least Seth’s taking him to that appointment. I’ll just have to get up, feed a baby, feed another baby, get showered, get dressed, get to work, work all day, come home feed three babies, feed them again (see aforementioned note on solids vs. milk dinner feeding…)…
Oh yes, it’s going to be a FUN week.
And yet, people STILL tell me I should sleep when my babies sleep. Please, someone, explain to me exactly how I’m supposed to make that happen! Because for the life of me, I’m STILL trying to figure out exactly when I’m making it to the grocery store this week, which I desperately need to do (nevermind how I’m going to PAY for the groceries…right now it’s only about the logistics of GETTING to the grocery store!).
Normally, I’m very, very good at keeping everything together. I don’t get stressed out. I don’t get overwhelmed. I handle things with grace and ease, MOST of the time. But right now? THIS week? I think I’ve hit my limit.
Still to write:
- What’s been going on with J
- Early Intervention Evaluation for the Triplets
- Lots o’ pictures to post (who has TIME?)
- Fun with Jessica (TWO weeks in a ROW! What a treat!)
- Milestones (Babies are ALMOST mobile…Gah!!)
But seriously? When is all this writing supposed to happen?
See? I warned you that I was feeling whiny. But did you listen? NO! That being said, if you made it all the way to the end of this post, you get a cookie. Not that I have the time to make you cookies, or anything, so you’ll have to make your own. Or buy your own. Or just use your imagination and dream of your own cookie. So here’s your virtual cookie. Because hello? I’m a mother of FOUR children. Did you REALLY think I have time to bake you cookies??
ChezPerky 
yikes that makes me sweat just reading it! prayers going out for your strength
And this is exactly why I like blogging so much. You can just whine away and no one will interrupt you.
I’m keeping good thoughts for you, hoping that things go as smoothly as possible this week.
Wow, sounds like a horrible week. Good luck!
P.S. I think once in this post, you forgot to just write “J”…
This is going to sound like a stupid question but… Is there someone who could go and grocery shop for you? Or couldn’t you order groceries online? Hope your week is actually a lot better than the predictions!
Wow…that’s all I can say to that! Hopefully the week will go by fast. Sending lots of positive thoughts and big hugs!
I shouldn’t smile, but I can’t help it. I also can’t help but think of Trace Atkins “Your Gonna Miss This” If you get a chance in your ‘down time’ you tube it…I know you don’t think so now…but there will come a time when your house is quiet, the kids will be out on dates, your hubby will be in the den and you are going to realize how much you miss those little babies that kept you hopping…of course then you will be able to climb into bed and get a good nights sleep…so perhaps not 🙂
Here from NCLM. You’re making my head spin, love! Good luck!
You didn’t miss a lot with the board meeting and I have notes for you 🙂
No good advice; just a hug. A lot of empathy.
Sorry things are so hectic. Can you have the groceries delivered? It seems like that’s the only solution right now. I hope you get a break soon!
If there’s one thing I can tell you, it’s that I love you… I wish that I could magically beam myself there to be with you and help you do all the things that make you a supermom in MY eyes. Even though I know you don’t really NEED my help, I find that when you and I do things together, I smile a little more, giggle a little harder, and my heart feels so much lighter… You’ll get through this, you always do. Keep it up, and don’t forget to take that cape off when you go to bed. I’d hate for it to get wrapped around Seth… 🙂
::HUGS::
sweetness, you have to stop doing so much. For starters
1. Your babies really don’t need much, if any, solid food right now. Give them some bits and pieces to nibble on if you get the chance while J is eating (bits of ripe pear, banana, avocado, steamed broccoli if you have the time to make it, steamed carrot, rice cakes spread with philly, toast etc.). They get enough nutrition from milk, and they will be learning to feed themselves. See http://www.babyledweaning.co.uk for more info
2. If you really want to feed them purees, buy jars. It’s ridiculous that you are adding making purees onto your life. If the UK has places that will deliver organic baby meals, I would bet my life the US does too. I’ll even google it for you if you don’t have the energy yourself.
3. For heavens sake don’t tidy up for your cleaner. She can tidy herself, or just clean around the mess.
4. Groceries – isn’t there somewhere which will deliver? Again, all the UK supermarkets do, so I’m sure there must be something similar where you are. At least the basics.
5. can’t the nanny make up the bottles herself?
Please cut yourself some slack and let the systems around you help you. You need a break. You’re not whiny, you’re overwhelmed, it’s different.
What about Peapod grocery delivery through Giant? I know that they aren’t the best with organics, but at least you’d have food.
I so feel for you sister! I get so burned up when people tell me to sleep when the babies sleep. They just don’t get it! And you’ve got one more kid! Holy crap!!! I think sometimes people’s advice does NOT help.
You really are doing a fantastic job, although I know that if feels endless. YOu do not sound whiny…you sound real. I love it.
I wish I could puree your food for you so you have your babyfood taken care of.
I am wishing you extra hours in the day and good rest!
Delicious cookie btw!
I could bake you cookies.
Online grocery shopping with home delivery could just be your new best friend. Is there an online service near you? I have used it a few times and it is great.
I am so sorry you are experiencing such stress and sleep deprivation. You have many blessings and you’ve gone through greater hells, but frustration is frustration.
I bet someone from your shul would be more than willing to pick up chicken and produce for you. Allow yourself to ask for help! If not, perhaps you can place an order with an online service during a lunch or pumping break at work.
Does the four-year-old often fight with you about eating, or might this be a request for attention? Perhaps some extended, special one-on-one, just for fun time with him in future weeks would help.
I bet you are going to rest well this Shabbat!
amazing! very hectic. i am feeling a bit overwhelmed myself, but i’m not nearly as busy as you are (and oh, do i hate the fighting with the oldest one to get things done part. very sucky)
i’ll make you some cookies. or, i would except i’m so darn tired all the time! 😉
here from NCLM….laughing through the tears, because, honey, I don’t know how you do HALF of what’s on your plate. Seriously. Let me just say that a) you are not a spoiled brat for having a cleaning lady–holy crap–FOUR KIDS and working fulltime? No way you are a spoiled brat.
b) is there a grocery delivery service in your area? It could be worth EVERY PENNY.
c) hang in there. This too shall pass. It may be another 10 years, but it will pass 🙂
Why don’t you sleep instead of taking all this time to type this all out?
Why are you paying for a Nanny and a housekeeper if you say you can’t afford groceries?
Don’t you think J is acting out because of the triplets?
I think in a previous post, you said you wanted more children. Maybe you should re-think this because from what you have stated I don’t think it would be wise financially or emotionally.
Hey Anonymous at 8:46, stop giving us Anonymouses a bad name!
What an amazingly rough week you are facing…I can feel the stress building from here! And I hear you, loud and clear.
While I do think you could probably get everything done SOMEHOW (like never sleeping, eating or peeing), I also know that letting some things slide in no way reflects on who you are as a person and as a rock-star MoM.
There were days when my twins did not get solids at a particular meal, and we were all okay for it, although I did fret quite a bit about it. There were also days when I called in my MIL, or ordered in pizza or cancelled a meeting. Thankfully, I have never had a week yet, that I haven’t made it through! 🙂 Although, many of them are lacking grace and sleep!
My area doesn’t have grocery delivery services, but if they did, I would definitely use them.
Any chance your Triplet-Mom-babysitting-friend would pick up some groceries for you? And I hear you on the $, everything seems to be going up and up!
is it wrong i was laughing? my three youngest are a bit younger than yours and my oldest is 1 yr younger than J, so i completely get what you’re writing…you just related my day – especially cancelling going out w/your husband b/c it was too stressful. we’ve done the same thing.
You impress me every day. Seriously. I’m a SAHM with only one kiddo (14 months) and I still feel very overwhelmed at times. I also watch the clocks some nights, waiting for my husband to get home to play with my son. And, once again, I only have ONE kid. Fortunately, he is the most amazing and lovable kid in the world but he’s also incredibly active. Kudos to you for being able to raise such a wonderful family. I bet the kids never (well, rarely) even see you sweat! 🙂 And, like another poster wisely commented, you are NOT whining, you’re being REAL. THAT is why I love your blog. (And b/c you’re an amazing writer and your kids are adorable)! Thanks, as always, for sharing your journey AND for being so real about how difficult some days (weeks, months) can be.
what thalia said re babies feeding themselves. I’m a total lazy bum. I sometimes open a can of peas and carrots, put them on the baby’s high chair tray, and let her go at them for a while.
Same with small cut up veggies, burgers, hot dogs, chicken breast, veggie hot dogs, veggie burgers (I cut them tiny)
basically, I rarely mash anything for her and only occasionally spoon feed her.
====
Otherwise, not much advice here. There are weeks like this. They actually go by really painfully but fast at the same time.
And you’re very wise to have a cleaning lady. Anonymous can shove it up his/her rear.
Just found your blog and can soooo relate!