Not ready to trigger, apparently. WHATEVER.
SuperDoc is this cute little South African Jewish man. My primary nurse is as Irish Catholic as you get. Me? I’m an Orthodox Jew. So SuperDoc loves to torture my nurse by peppering his notes to me with little Hebrew & Yiddish phrases. She can never pronounce them and certainly has no idea what “meshuga” or “shiksa” means.
So today he tells her that I should stay on the same dose tonight and come back for monitoring tomorrow.
“Are you frickin’ kidding me?” I said.
“You’re not ready to trigger, darlin'” my nurse replied.
“Oh for crying out loud. This is going to mean a Saturday retrieval.”
“Or not. If I had to guess I’d say you’re goint to trigger Friday, not Thursday. But that’s just a guess.”
“Friday? So a Sunday retrieval then. Hrm. I could work with that. But you know it’s going to be a Saturday retrieval. He’s doing this to me on purpose.”
“He said to say something else to you, but you know he’s just trying to make me look stupid, because you know I can’t pronounce any of this…”
“Okay…”
“It says, ‘peekoowa’ I dunno… there’s that ‘ch’ thing on the end. Then ‘ne-‘ um. Peekooo. I don’t know.”
We went on like that for a while before I realized what she was saying.
“Are KIDDING ME? Pikuach Nefesh? Is that what he wrote? REALLY?”
“Yeah! Exactly! I knew you’d know what I was trying to say!”
“You know, that quiet, serene, calm little man is evil. EVIL. Do you know what he just told me?”
“Um, no? I have no idea!”
“He just told me I’m having retrieval on Saturday.”
“Er…”
“Oh, he acts all quiet and and soft-spoken and sweet, but underneath it all? He’s a little smartass, that one! And don’t you forget it!”
(for the record, pikuach nefesh does not apply here, though that doesn’t mean that there aren’t halachically appropriate ways to be able to go to a retrieval on Shabbos – it’s just a logistical nightmare)
Needless to say, this is not going to be fun at all if that’s the way it plays out. But hey, maybe another day or two will get us to 8? Meh. We’ll just have to see what happens, right? There’s really not much we can do about it regardless. It’s going to be the way it’s going to be and it will either work or it won’t.
Update: same dose = same dose as prescribed originally. I did tell my nurse about the accidental double dose. But no harm, no foul, and we’ll just see what happens.
and yes, my doctor does have a sense of humor. And he certainly does think I still have a sense of humor. Little does he know.
ChezPerky 